Gonna Be Bold Here And Claim Messi Is Far Too Good For MLS Players After Scoring 2 Goals In The First 21 Minutes

I'm incredibly happy to be a Messi guy because I don't want to make fun of him for playing in the MLS. Sure, a hater would say of course the guy who is the greatest player of this era, maybe ever, is out here scoring 2 goals in the first 20 minutes against Atlanta United. The FC Cincinnati fan in me wants to say it can't be hard that when he has all his pals like Sergio Busquets and Jordi Alba playing with him at Inter Miami now. But I'll save those for when I really need a win against Inter Miami.

For now, I'm willing to make the claim that he's far too good for MLS players. I might even claim he's the best player in MLS history, slightly edging out the likes of Jozy Altidore, Freddy Adu, Santino Quaranta and Clint Mathis. A couple more goals and I'm ready to call him the best goal scorer in MLS history over Juan Pablo Angel. I don't know if he'll touch Brian McBride, but that might just be my bias coming through. 

The dude is just that fucking good though. I mean he's got DJ Khaled's son weeping in front of him: 

He's got a whole different crew of stars out seeing him tonight: 

What a start. Dude comes in off the bench in night 1 for the game-winner. Gets the start and captain's band for game 2, bangs 2 home right away. Big week for average height people with Brian Harman and Messi leading from the front. That's what guys 5'9" and under do.