Ranking The Best Ice Cream Truck Orders
It's supposed to be in the 90s the next three days in New York City which got me thinking about ice cream. I feel like I'm enough of a grown up where I don't crave the old school ice cream trucks anymore, but staring at that side of the truck is so dang nostalgic. You wait on line looking over the picture menu for what feels like forever. Maybe you're a little shy and you don't project your voice enough over the ice cream truck motor and you've got to yell your order up what feels like 10 feet to a milkman looking character who just rang a cowbell that sent you and your cousins running off the beach to the piping hot asphalt in bare feet. It was your lucky day because your uncle was feeling generous and gave you $20 to get four items as long as you brought him back a chipwich. But what do you get for yourself?
I power ranked the top options:
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Never Miss Tier
The Strawberry Shortcake is quite simply the goat. It's perfect. Creamy, yet fruity. Crunchy, yet soft. It's hard to find a better dessert off of a truck driven by a 16-year old. If you're not a strawberry fan, King Cone is a great alternative. So consistent. The cone won't be as crunchy as your local ice cream shoppe, but with the crunch of the nuts on top, and sweetness of the chocolate, combined with the creaminess of the vanilla ice cream, it all works! Every single time.
Very Good Options
Choco Tacos are very good, so not shitting on them as I know they have stans everywhere. The outer layer provides both sweetness and crunch, but unlike the King Cone, these shells can be a bit more inconsistent. That's the only thing keeping them out of the Never Miss tier. Drumsticks are great, but just a notch below the King Cone.
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Decent, But You're Not Bragging About These
Fudgesicles are so interesting. They're not hard chocolate and kind of melt in your mouth. The taste is terrific, the one knock is it's not versatile at all. Chipwich is great, but homemade ones are better and crunchier. The mass produced ones are ok, but you don't feel the cookie as much as you should in my opinion. Chocolate Eclairs are similar to the Strawberry Shortcake, but doesn't offer that fruity dimension. Screwballs are good and have a nice gum ball at the bottom but I'm not sure they'd be anybody's go-to.
You Might As Well Be At Home
These are all fine treats to be consumed in your living room or basement with air conditioning. Especially if you have a friend over to watch music videos and talk to girls on AOL instant messanger. But from the Ice Cream Truck, these are not great options. And I'll admit they're all knocked because the supply is so great elsewhere. Ice Cream Sandwiches are everywhere and maybe the most popular thing you can find in any friend's parent's freezer. Creamsicles are solid, but you've got to be in the mood to go orange and cream. Firecrackers are cool on the 4th of July to be Patriotic, but outside of that are a poor man's Italian Ice on a stick.
Terrible. Would rather get nothing
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Snowcones if they're fresh as decent and a different kind of treat. Premade ones are absolute trash. Spongebob and Powerpuff pops are lame and I hate these extra cause I once choked on a Super Mario gum ball eye as a youth. That being said, they're still better than Pop Ups.