Advertisement

It Pains Me To Say This But Draymond Green Saved "The Match" On Thursday Night By Talking Shit, Attempting To Chug Beers, And Being Absolutely Hilarious

I am a card carrying member of the Draymond hater club. As a fan of the Cavs he will go down as one of the most loathed rivals in our town's history. The trash talking, the dirty plays, the constant yelling at refs, the assaults on his teammates, his stupid face...just about everything he does drives me up a wall.

But there are two caveats to my Draymond hatred:

1. I will always respect the way he shows up in big games. Especially Game 7 against the Cavs where he kept the Warriors in the game and damn near beat us single-handedly.

2. When he is off the court he is almost always hilarious. On TV, on podcasts, drunk at championship parades, he is pure entertainment. 

And as much as it pains me to say it, Draymond delivered once again last night during The Match. In what was an otherwise pretty meh broadcast, Draymond provided at least a half dozen moments that kept the broadcast watchable. We tune in to see professional athletes be good but not great at golf and to talk shit. And since he couldnt help on the first part he overdelivered on the second. 

And even when he wasn't running his mouth because he was waterboarding himself with an adult beverage it was still hilarious. 

Draymond hangs out with LeBron a lot so I am assuming he is more of a Vino guy but when you're on the golf course you have to be able to throw a couple cold ones back with the fellas. Especially when you hit a tee box where you have to drive over water. Whoever puts it in the drink has to shotgun a beer right there on the spot. Thems the rules. At least when I'm on the course leaving divots the size of the Grand Canyon it is. 

I've hung out with a lot of people who went to Michigan State so I know those people can party. Not sure how Draymond has never shotgunned a beer in his life before but this was embarrassing. But that's the court jester's job. Make everyone laugh even if it means you look like an asshole. 

If it wasn't for Draymond last night the funniest thing about the match would have been Travis Kelce's dumb ass shorts.

Advertisement

I'm no fashionista but I'm not sure those shorts that looks like the cellulite on the back of a fat old lady's leg are going to be the wave anytime soon. 

And even when it wasn't Draymond making the jokes, it was everyone else busting his balls that kept the vibes high. 

So kudos to you Draymond. I hope my team never has to play you in a playoff series again. And I also kind of secretly hope the Cavs could figure out a way to swoop you up for their young roster that needs some toughness. But for now I'll just watch you make an ass out of yourself during events like this. 

As someone who has basically zero pride and will completely humiliate myself to make my buddies laugh, let me just say: Game recognize game. Well done.