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A South Florida Community Is In Quarantine Again, This Time Due To Snails

Daily Mail - A South Florida community has been ordered to quarantine amid an infestation of giant African land snails that could destroy structures, cause meningitis and puncture car tires.

The Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services announced on Tuesday that a swath of Broward County would be placed under quarantine as state officials seek to eradicate the huge beasts.

Under the quarantine, it is illegal for residents to move any of the snails or plants — including soil, compost and yard waste — into or out of the area without a compliance agreement from the government. 

New quarantine just dropped. Apparently Florida hadn't had enough of it. A whole community has been confined to their homes once again. This time it's snail related. Giant African Land Snails have taken over the neighborhood. Snails so big that they can eat their way through street signs, and quite literally eat your home. On top of that, they have shells so hard they can puncture car tires, they can be as big as a grapefruit, AND they'll give you meningitis.

I'm not 100% sure why this requires a quarantine. I imagine they're keeping everybody locked inside because of the meningitis #StopTheSpread. But if you told me my home was potentially infested with killer snails... guy like me? I'm removing myself from the home.

On the bright side, I can't think of a better animal to be infested by than giant slow ass snails that you can see coming from a mile away. That's best case scenario. What are they going to do, chase you down? It's not like they're hard to see. They only time they might get you is in your sleep. You can't let the snail get into your room and drag it's meningitis slime across your face while you're passed out. But as long as you know how to sleep with one eye open you'll be fine.

I imagine they would be very fun hunt as well. Get yourself one of those high powered salt guns and wander around your neighborhood with the boys blasting every snail you see. Or even better, use a real gun. Florida is a stand your ground state. Snail hunting is right up their alley. I could go for a snail hunt right now. Although the more pictures I see of them, I'm starting to think they're kind of adorable

Look at that good sir. I don't know if I'd even want to shoot it in the face with salt or a bullet. I'd rather name him Gary, make him a newspaper bed, raise him as my son, start a life in the ocean, etc. I know they have some bad habits, but I think I can fix them. There are no bad snails, only bad owners. Good luck, Florida.