Paige VanZant Goes Viral by Taking Up the Sport of Kings: Oil Wrestling

Josh Hedges. Getty Images.

We live in a time where we place ever-increasing premiums on people succeeding with one, highly specific talent. Designated hitters and lefty relievers. Pass rush specialists and 3rd down running backs. Basketball and hockey players who give minimal effort in their own end and put all their energy into scoring. Even in coaching, we've got NFL running game coordinators and MLB "field coordinators."

Yet in this age of specialization, it's important that we celebrate those great, all around athletes. The Naturals. The 5-Toolers. Those versatile, all-around talents who can succeed at anything they set their minds to. And among the multi-dimensional sports figures gracing us with their god-given gifts today, Paige VanZant takes a back seat to no one. 

After closing down her stellar UFC career, she briefly took up Bare Knuckle Boxing:

Before quickly (meaning six days later) pivoting to Swimwear Modeling:

She then fearlessly dove into the dog-eat-dog world of prime time network Competitive Dancing:

Craig Sjodin. Getty Images.

Then took up the mantle of OnlyFans Modeling:

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And having succeeded in all those various and extremely diverse disciplines, VanZant has teased that she is taking her talents to the Oil Wrestling ring:

"And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept. For there were no more worlds left to conquer." The benefits of a formal education. Or a community college education and 100 viewings of a movie. 

Leave it to Paige VanZant to step out of the octagon and into the inflatable kiddie pool. It's said that all the good things in life happen outside your comfort zone. But clearly the whole world is one giant comfort zone for this warrior. She has no limits and is willing to try anything. From exchanging arm bars and kicks, to throwing knuckles, to paying tribute the latest beachwear trends, to Foxtrotting with impeccable grace, to showing you private areas to paid subscribers. So it's no wonder she would square off against a greased-up Valkyrie in a pitched battle. Hand-to-hand. Mano femenina y mano femenina. Thong-to-thong. Baby oil-to-baby oil. 

We don't know at this point if this was just a one-off for Paige the way the Bare Knuckle thing was. Or if Oil Wrestling is the next path along her journey to enlightenment. All I can say for sure is, if this is her new career, don't bet against her being the best there ever was in the sport that was once just relegated to dingy back rooms filled with bachelor parties and frat assholes:

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On behalf of the entire world, let me say, keep doing you, Girl Boss. We can't see what challenge awaits you next.