<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>Describing My Dream Girl</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push((function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","63377"),htlbid.setTargeting("tags",["please-end-this","frank-the-tank","sketch","comedy","rudy","caroline"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_keywords",["girl","life partner","career journeyman darin ruf","weird hatred","piece","military equipment","soda","meltdown","variety show","end","nickname","team","despise ketchup","fanatic","chew toy"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv1",["IAB17"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv2",["483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv3",["483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_positive","0.36"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_neutral","0.43"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_negative","0.21"),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.layout()}))</script><script>var googletag = googletag || {};
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<div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/9rcfski?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuM6gOW0kR8&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl"></a></div></div></div><p>As I'm about to turn 27, I've been starting to think about what I want in a life partner and a girl I can spend the rest of my life with. And there's a few key traits that I've come up with. She has to be a big sports fan. Like a fanatic who has full on meltdowns when her team loses. Maybe even has a chew toy or something she bites down on to get her anger out. She has to DESPISE the New Jersey Transit. Have a weird hatred towards career journeyman Darin Ruf. Loves soda obviously. Maybe reviews it. Despises ketchup. Maybe a nickname that rhymes with a piece of military equipment? I don't know just spitballing. But unfortunately it doesn't seem like this girl exists....Unless...</p><p>Watch full Episode 2 of our Please End This Variety Show here</p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/EFe5Y6G?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGUYCdNT63Y&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63377_0_describing-my-dream-girl"></a></div></div></div>

Describing My Dream Girl

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