Advertisement

Taylor Swift Is Putting On The Breakup Clinic Of A Century Because There Is Nothing She Does Better Than Revenge

For those who have been living in a hole - Taylor Swift is now single. Yes, I've finally accepted it - after 6 years of what seemed to be the most romantic, safe and real love that has ever existed on the planet, Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn have "broken up amicably."

Is there ever a 100% amicable breakup? No way. But, with Taylor, if something BAD happened? We'd know. So, I continued to live in my blissful ignorance thinking "huh, they just grew apart, it happens, whatever." Unless...

MY SWIFTIE SENSES ARE TINGLING. All of a sudden, Taylor's seen out on the town, and she's with her fuckin' GIRLS (+ Ryan Reynolds.) THE GIRL GANG IS BACK TOGETHER! THE LEGION OF MODELS AND STARS IS ON THE MOVE! They're just as weather confused as the rest of us are in NYC!

She's made changes to the setlist at her Eras Tour, changing out "Invisible String" (a song about Joe) to "the 1" (a song about lost love.) 

Over the weekend she played "You're Not Sorry" as one of her surprise acoustic songs.

The kicker here? After writing him out of her setlist as much as she could, with a few potentially pointed jabs, we've got a LONG LIST of people unfollowing Joe. Almost every person she went out to dinner with, almost immediately, unfollowed him. 

Meanwhile, Joe has emerged for the first time since they're breakup looking….haggard at best!

Advertisement

YIKES! OUCH! 

The rumors are all that "Joe couldn't handle Taylor's level of fame," "Joe wanted to focus on his own life and career" "Joe was sick of being Mr Taylor Swift…." Blah blah blah blah. All of these "rumors" to me sound like a man who…YOU GUESSED IT…IS INTIMIDATED BY A POWERFUL WOMAN. I understand not wanting to be so famous you can't walk down the street. I know men have fragile egos and have trouble living in a world where a woman is more successful. But at the same time….its TAYLOR SWIFT, JOE. You didn't know??? Were you really so deep inside your COVID bubble that you thought you'd have exclusive, solo access to the biggest music star in the world right now? With all of her friends unfollowing him, I'm pretty confident in the idea of something ACTUALLY having gone down. Maybe he just jumped the gun a little too early on the announcement? Maybe he's already seeing someone new? There has to be a reason. 

In the meantime, Taylor's going to keep spinning her web of TRUTH all over New York City and looking extremely hot while doing it.