What Do You Call Thousands Of Polish People Getting Drunk In A Parking Lot On A Monday? Dyngus Day, Apparently

My entire life people have said to me things like, "What the hell are you?" "You're ethnically ambiguous." "You're 'ugly as sin,' no offense."

None taken, mom. 

But that did get me to wondering about my lineage. I was always told I was just Welsh and Italian. But after sending off for a genealogy test I found out there was more to me than just Cawl, pasta, and my extremely random asian looking eyes. Apparently, I am also 8% Polish.

This threw me for a loop. I don't know the first thing about being Polish. Besides the fact I apparently need a team of fellow countrymen to change a lightbulb and my blood stream is made up of mostly cheese filled dough and shitty vodka.

So I set out to see what it takes to truly be Polish. And what better place to find myself than on their holiest of holidays, Dyngus Day.

Since you are probably not familiar, Dyngus Day is a day where Polish people get together on a Monday, get shit-housed drunk by lunch in a parking lot, and listen to Polka music. There is probably more to it than that but that would be the short info blurb if you were scrolling past it on Netflix. 

This celebration supposedly only happens in Buffalo and Cleveland so add it to lake effect snow and football tailgating as the things our cities absolutely dominate in.

The people were as interesting as I have ever come across. They came from all walks of life...and by that I mean everyone looked like a middle class construction worker. They were welcoming and charming as all get out. If I could I would drink in that parking lot for eternity with those fine folks.

So take a journey with me to the best holiday that you probably have never heard of...welcome to Dyngus Day.