You Know What Goes Well With Fish? Cooked Bats! Truck Pulled Over In Germany Transporting Fish And Cooked Bats

AP News - BERLIN (AP) — German officials seized cooked bats and nearly a ton of unrefrigerated fish after police stopped a van that had entered the country from Belgium, authorities said Wednesday.

Federal police said a patrol on Monday stopped the vehicle at a highway exit on the edge of the border city of Aachen, and found the bats under the fish. A vet from the local consumer protection office was sent to the scene and ordered the bats and fish confiscated. Police seized the van, which was uninsured.

The 31-year-old driver, an Ivorian citizen, faced a criminal complaint for traffic offenses and unauthorized entry because he entered the country without papers or a driver’s license, police said in a statement. He also faces administrative proceedings for violations of food hygiene rules, and local authorities were looking into whether he violated conservation laws relating to the bats.

I have to ask so many questions that I don't really want to know the answers to. 1- How bad did this van smell if it had unrefrigerated fish and cooked bats? HOW HORRIFIC WAS THAT SMELL?  That sounds, or should I say smells like absolute torture. I don't exaggerate when I say this, when I think of how people are tortured, it's to drive a van far distances (which sucks on it's own) and have to smell cooked bats and unrefrigerated fish. I would have crashed after 11 minutes…MAX. There is no way on earth I would survive that drive. NOT A FUCKING CHANCE. Which brings me to point #2… 

2- HOW DID THIS GUY NOT PASS OUT WHILE DRIVING? You ever go into someone's dorm room in college that was messy and ask "what's that smell?" and them respond "what do you mean?" indicating they have grown accustomed to the funky smell. That's the only way I feel like this guy could have lived through this drive. He was born in filth, or trained to grow accustomed to filthy smells for months, or years at a time so he doesn't even flinch driving in essentially what I imagine to be a port a potty on wheels. I guess I'm impressed by this, or maybe I think he's wasting his talents that  he is being able to stomach this drive but he could have made way more money on Fear Factor. I'll tell you what, if this maniac can do this drive without flinching, he would be a BEAST on Lowering The Bar. You think anything can rattle this guy? You think he can't stomach a smell or put down a weird food? Hell no. Nothing will shake this fucking lunatic if he can survive a drive of the worst smells ever. 

and finally … 

3- WHAT IN THE FUCK WERE THEY GOING TO DO WITH COOKED BATS AND UNREFRIGERATED FISH? Is there some kind of street value or underground market for cooked bats that you can trade them in for Nike Sneakers in Germany? Are corner stores low on cooked bats that they will give you bags of cash? Do doctors have some shady weird fetish to have cooked bats made into candles that they are trading in their Lexus for these things? What the fuck dude. This part of the story HAS TO come out…HAS TO. You can't just have the headline about a guy getting pulled over with these contents of a van, and not tell us what the plan was. How are we supposed to sleep? How can we live in a world where we know people like this are driving around and haven't told us what they are planning to do. Absolutely insane. 

I will be down a rabbit hole until we get an answer on this.