Plot Twist, Jordan Peterson Is Hilarious and Is a Fan of Mine

First off, a little backstory on how Jordan Peterson found me.

As you might've seen, I am an internet sensation lately. This month, I've had some viral TikToks that have catapulted me to stardom. I'm big time now. I received a death threat this week, that's how famous I am. I'm so viral, Keegs is writing a hit piece about my videos as we speak (unfortunately, Francis won't be writing a blog to defend me. He doesn't speak to women whose families don't come from oil :/ ). When you think of the most famous, beautiful, blonde starlets of this time.. you think of me. (I know some of you were thinking of Sydney Sweeney, but she didn't have a viral video on reddit this month, which resulted in Buzzfeed writing an article about her).

This month, I doubled my followings on Twitter and TikTok, mostly with this video 

Because of this video, Large asked me to be on the Barstool Finance pod The Family Office. In this episode, you find out that I know nothing about investing and that I look adorable in a wool vest (tiny little vests are my current obsession, especially ones made for dogs to wear on walks in the winter.)

Since Dave Portnoy created the internet 20 years ago, viral videos have been created then stolen and posted by a loser thief (think Pam and Tommy). These untalented thieves thrive off of taking credit they don't deserve without even offering a $50 gift card. Sort of like Christopher Columbus or Elizabeth Holmes or Gaz. So of course since I'm so viral, many of my videos have been reposted without my knowledge and without credit. That's just life! Women are used to not getting credit for their work, so it really doesn't bother me. But due to the video being posted without credit, I didn't know Jordan Peterson had retweeted it. Thankfully, a sweet twitter citizen named Ty let me know.

That's right, Dr. Jordan Peterson quote tweeted my soup video. Not only that, Jordan Peterson appears to be riffing on the joke. It's funny, which is the most shocking part about it. I don't hate JP. Jordan Peterson is notoriously quoted for some of his misogynistic takes. When you read them, they are off putting. But when you hear him speak them, they're kinda cute. Like a little frail gay mouse saying you should stay in the kitchen and lose weight. It's low-key adorable. Prior to this, I did have Jordan Peterson blocked on twitter. JP had retweeted some weird, graphic BDSM male milking fetish video thinking it was a Chinese governments sperm factory.

I know. I know. 

Between that and calling women fat on twitter, I blocked Jordan Peterson. 

Advertisement

I mean, he's bound to tweet something insane again. He seems to be a little too off to be on Twitter. That's why his hilarious retweet baffled me. Maybe he hired a Gen Z to do his socials after the milking fetish incident? If so, how do I get that job? I think he has a bright future as a comedian. If he wants, Barstool is always looking to hire mildly funny white guys. I can talk to Gaz for him!