Chris Klemmer Needs To Stop Complaining About Horny Cubans

Carl3/08/2023 7:50 PM

We'll deal with you in a minute Klemmer. Guy operates one of the most dark and twisted brains on the planet. Oh yeah he was good actor. Died of suicide after murdering his neighbor on a crack fueled rage. Really excelled in the early 70's neo noir movement. One of the more underrated method acters of that decade. Klemmer will look you dead in the eyes and say some shit like that then ask you if you want to grab potbelly for lunch in the same breath. And you're telling me that guy can't handle a car horn? Like I said we'll deal with you in a minute Klemmer.

For now let's kick the blog off with some good strong positive news. Just Turner is doing okay.

That's great. Good for him.

I am not well.

Apparently March 8th was the deadline for me and the old lady to climb some fuckin mountain in Scottsdale. I don't do outdoors shit and I don't care to pretend or try this late in life. Nature, you smell great. Outdoors, you feel awesome. Personally just not my jam for reasons ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVQXYZ. Whatever.

I have lost this battle with such terrific force that she might throw me off that fuckin mountain.

Car was supposed to leave 20 minutes ago and now I'm gettin an earful. Like I wasn't up until 4am last night scouting Cuba and making game notes for Team Italy? Let the man rest

*Cuts cig #4*

I aint got time to be climbin no fuckin mountains.

Let's talk some baseball….

The World Baseball Classic Started Yesterday

The Netherlands defeated Cuba. Panama is currently mopping the floor with Chinese Tapei. Meanwhile, several people are mad that a guy is blowing a horn.

New Barstool Baseball correspondent Vincent Pasquantino has an alternative take.

Nice being able to go the well on this one. Just another quick note on Vinnie while we're here:

Picture Day:

No smile headshots for the boys. Very nice.

WBC Observsations

Minimal so far.

However it's worth pointing out the Netherlands have 4 of the top SS prospects of my younger adult life: Andrelton Simmons, Xander, Jurickson Profar and Didi. At one point or another, each one of those guys was considered the future shortstop in baseball. Keep that in mind next time you're blowing some 19 year old Venezuelan right fielder. Hypothetically of course. But just keep it in mind when you're arguing about some kid in AA.

Games pick up tonight with some later action. Contact your local TV provider for channel listing information/

ELSEWHERE

I'm not gonna be pumping Australina baseball highlights down your throats today. Rather, let's reflect upon the next couple weeks ahead as we sit here on Wednesday morning. You, comfortably doing something. Me, climbing a fucking mountain in my only pair of tennis shoes.

World Baseball Classic really picks up this weekend. College conference play is getting fired up. The northern states are getting warmer by the day. We don't need to be drafting fantasy teams and handicapping noon games every morning here. Sometimes it's good to just get a little taste of the game and stuff that draws you into it.

Even now as a certified washed up, fizzled out, never-had-it-in-the-first-place kinda guy, I could watch articulate professionals talk about the basics of hitting like I've got 4 plate appearances tonight against Roger Clemens. Two clips were going around yesterday that I found equally enamoring from two extremely sweet infielders of our lives. Which one do you like more:

Ian Being Technical

Nomar Being Simple:

The Nomar advice is almost too easy. But I want to take it out to the softball fields this year and feel a good load.

Ian on the other hand makes me want to go back to freshman year of high school and take that tee work seriously. Elbow lead the hands lead the bat. Never thought about it like that.

Then again, nothing compares to the greatest hitting summarization I've ever listened to or will ever listen to. No offense to Ted. But you raised Tony, and nobody in my life talked hitting like Tony:

If I'm going Tony Gwynn you better believe I'm giving you a Maddux.

TWO SEAM CITY

Does that look familiar?

Let's talk quick college and then end with a hot dog review.

Boston College Upsets Tennessee

#3 ranked Tennessee I should say, which improves BC to 9-1 on the year. Probably surprising to see Boston College that good, but it's a unique program. They're good at getting guys into pro ball and are known for the occasional first rounder. This year they have a stud outfielder Travis Honeymoon that's a lock to go in the first round. He DID NOT play last night. Instead the other draft prospect, Joey Vetrano (great Italian baseball name) took over and hit two bombs. The highlights from this game are insane. Let's go to college baseball expert Peter Flaherty.

And context, it was:

3-3 after 5

4-3 BC after 6

4-4 after 7

5-4 after7.5

5-5 after 8

6-5 going into bottom 9

6-6 going to extras…

How the hell did Tennessee blow this?

More importantly, Cameron Leary GO GET YOURSELF A COLD ONE BIG FELLA

That transition felt early 90's Sportscenter to me and that actually is a good thing for all you youngsters.

Speaking of youngsters.

Vinnie Is Young.

I gotta bring it back to Vinnie for a second and more context. We got Hot Dog reviews during the Cuba/Netherlands game from Team Italy and it's honestly so good.

Scale of 1 to 3 with Vinnie is smart. The leather hat is genius. Overall just a really impressive performance from the youngster and they haven't even started playing yet. For more on his journey in the WBC, check out his vlog series here. Algorithm's been just a little chilly lately if you can throw a click.

Now if you excuse me.

It's Mountain Time, literally and figuratively.

Horn's honking from the parking lot. More baseball coverage today and tonight and every day I live if I make it off this rock.