Calling the Chiefs a Dynasty is Just the Cutest Thing Ever

Dave Shopland. Shutterstock Images.

What more can be said about this five-year run the Kansas City Chiefs are on? Five straight trips to their conference championship game. Three AFC titles. Two Super Bowl championships. An impressive 38 points last night against a Top 10 defense that included this post-Rihanna level of dominance:

Boy, howdy. You simply cannot say enough good things about this team at this particular moment in history.

Hold on. Strike that. It turns out you actually can say something too good about the Chiefs. 

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Sports Illustrated. A KC writer. A Chiefs fan site. Former Bronco Mark Schlereth. Children's party magician Nick Wright. New England's self-annointed Troller-in-Chief Ben Volin. All in agreement that after hanging two banners in four years makes Kansas City not just the Super Bowl champions, the best team in football or the most successful franchise of the last half decade. All of which would be a hell of a claim and has the added benefit of being objectively true. 

But nope. Not good enough. In fact, it's damning them with faint praise. We do this mighty empire a grave disservice if we do anything less than call them … a dynasty. 

Because this is what we do now. We can't be satisfied with the merely "good" or even the "great." We have to strive for the superlative. Everything has to be historic. So we keep adding as much water to the definitions of things so that what was once difficult to achieve and therefore is rare becomes commonplace. We inflate grades to get more straight-A students without thinking about how that cheapens what it means to be a straight-A student. 

So two championships in this era makes the Chiefs a dynasty? This will come as welcome news to the Giants of 2007-11. The Broncos of the late '90s. The Raiders of 1976-80. The Dolphins from the beginning of that decade. Until now they've been stored in the "Multiple Championships" file. Which was once considered a worthy accomplishment. It put you among the best of your era. Gave otherwise very good careers Hall of Fame-worthy credentials.  More than anything, it immortalized you as a winner, which was good enough. But if they happened today? Dynasty. No other descriptive will do.

Call me an old man yelling at clouds if you must. But I come from a time when we held franchises to a higher standard than just winning 40% of their championships over a five-year span. When, if a team with Kansas City's record applied for Dynasty Status, we'd review their resume and ask about losing to Cincinnati last year and to two different Tom Brady teams. Then send them out the door with a handshake and a vague, insincere promise to keep their application on file and be in touch. 

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To me a dynasty is something to be earned over a long, sustained period of immense success. A crazy idea, I know. The Yamato Dynasty has been on the Chrysanthemum Throne in Japan for almost 2,700 years. The House of Dulo reigned in Bulgaria from 2137 BC until 753 AD, almost 2,900 years. The Belle Dynasty has been the royal house of Belgium since 960 AD to today. 

By way of a more recent example, the Kraft-Belichick Epoch ruled the NFL from 2001-2018. During which time they went to eight more conference championship games than the Chiefs, six more Super Bowls, and won three times as many rings. THAT is a Dynasty, emphasis on the capital "D." Kansas City, with all due respect, has reigned for less time than America's other most famous dynasty of the 21st century:

And achieved about the same. So let's just slow our roll on the use of the D word. Win back-to-back Super Bowls, and we'll talk next year. Still, thanks for the laughs. This talk is really adorable.