Good News for the Female Sex Scandal Cop Who Lost Her Job: A Nashville Strip Club is Offering Her Work
If I can give you just a few moments of what Springer used to call "Jerry's Thoughts," dispensing a little wisdom and perspective to all you youngsters based on my years of learned experience, then let me impress this upon you. There is no more overrated notion than the idea that you have to have your whole future figured out at an early age.
Despite what you may have heard, life is not a highway, no matter how you want to drive it all night long. Nor is it a long and winding road. It's a mountain trail. Full of twists, followed by turns. Sometimes with switchback curves. Side roads. Bumps. Inclines. Declines. Intersections you never saw coming. And just to smother this metaphor and put it out of its misery once and for all, the important thing is to not worry about making it to your destination. Just enjoy the trip. Because you never know what's around the next bend.
Take for example, second year officer on the LaVergne, Tennessee Police Department Maegan Hall. If ever anyone had their whole life laid out for them, it was her. She made the force in 2021. She was looking like she had a long career law enforcement ahead of her. Regular pay raises. Good benefits. Perhaps a promotion or two. With a nice fat pension waiting for her at would likely be an earlier retirement than us private sector slobs.
How was she to know the turn her career would take?
Once Maegan started having sex with her coworkers on the job, going topless in the hot tub at a "family" boat cruise, bragging about giving oral to a fellow officer, and getting naked with another woman at a cop's house with her husband there, life started throwing her curves. The 12-to-6 Wiffleball kind, that no one could've seen coming.
And I'm sure the last couple of weeks have been tough. It's hard being out of work, ever. But especially when you've taken a flamethrower to any hopes you'll ever be hired by another police force. When any job interviewer is going to be quietly wondering if you've been cucking your husband this whole time and whether you'll be trying to bone your new coworkers during company time. That's going to cut down on your prospects and really hinder your job search.
But back to my point about not worrying about having your future all mapped out, other prospects always come up at times like this. Always. As Sister Maria says in The Sound of Music, "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." Or, in Maegan's case, the beaded curtain at the side of a stage:
Scoop Nashville - Deja Vu Showgirls in Nashville is officially extending an offer to former LaVergne, TN, Police Officer and newly famous Twitter meme queen Maegan Hall to perform at the club’s 34th anniversary party on March 17th, 2023. The landmark club in Music City has put $10,000 in cold hard cash on the table in an attempt to lure the scandalous ex-police officer who has a newfound notoriety for getting fired after having an affair with six of her on-duty colleagues.
“We want her at Deja Vu Nashville on March 17th. Two shows. $5,000 per show.” Said Regional Director Michael Durham. “I get the moral outrage,” said Durham. “However, she is no longer an employee of the LaVergne Police Department. She can now choose what is best for her financially,” added Durham.
See what I mean? This is the perfect example of what I've been on about. When Maegan graduated from the Academy and was sworn in as Officer Hall two years ago, do you think for a hot second she imagined she'd be getting offered a career in show business? Ever? Never mind, so soon?
Not to mention the money? I don't know how many shifts a young police officer has to work, how many tickets you have to write, how many DUI arrests you have to make, how many "OK, nothing to see here, folks" you have to declare in order to make 10,000 bucks. But I bet it involves quite a bit of policing.
And that doesn't even scratch the surface of the business opportunity being offered. There's also the tips. The lap dances. Does she have an idea what kind of crowd a nudie bar like Deja Vu in a major tourist destination like Nashville draws on a Saturday night? The bachelor parties alone are probably more than the whole population of LaVergne. Now factor in the St. Patrick's Day element, and it goes up by an order of magnitude. Those boobs she flashed for free on the party boat will be spinning gold all night.
The Irish have a complicated relationship with cops. Everyone of us is related to one, and has also had bad run-ins with them. So there's nothing that will separate a drunken Hibernian from his money faster than the slightest chance he might get to have sex with one. And given Hall's … let's call it her loose interpretation of the rules about workplace romances, every guy in the place is going to want to outbid everyone for her affections.
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It's a beautiful opportunity, and I hope she takes it. The police mantra is "to protect and to serve." Her days of protecting the public are over. DejaVu is giving her the chance to serve.