Thrifty Couple Calls 911 To Get Help With Their Move But Goody Two-Shoes Cops Can't Get Past The Fact They Were Actually Robbing A House
Shutterstock Images.POINCIANA, FLA. — Two people in Florida were arrested after one of them made a 911 call to get help with moving their belongings from a home they were burglarizing, authorities said.
While talking to deputies, the female suspect told them that she had called 911 for the purpose of having law enforcement help them move their belongings from the house they were burglarizing. They also wanted to get a ride to the airport so they could spend the weekend in New York, the sheriff's office said.
This, my friends, is called working smarter not harder. And it's a damn shame Lady Justice is punishing them for it. It's not these poor burglars fault that the police decided they did not need to live up to their sworn oath to protect AND SERVE. The second part is just as important as the first, pal.
And nothing serves the community more than helping a fellow citizen move some goods out of one home and to a new location. Moving is the absolute worst and no one likes to get the call that a buddy needs help. So these fine folks decided they wouldn't burden their friends but instead reach out to their local civil servants. Completely logical decision.
I don't understand why the police felt the need to hung up on little details like "who owns the home?" or "who actually paid for this stuff?" or "do you have any warrants out for stealing other things?" Which, of course the guy did…
Deputies had been searching for the male suspect after identifying him from security video as a burglar at a Dollar General store in Poinciana, Florida, where several items were stolen earlier in the day, the sheriff's office said in a statement. Poinciana is about 35 miles (55 kilometers) south of Orlando.
Well there you have it. This man isn't a criminal he's just fiscally responsible. Why pay for movers when you already pay the salary of police officers with your taxes? No need to spend twice. Why buy new furniture when there are perfectly good items sitting in an unattended house down the street? After all, possession is 9/10 of the law.
The guy steals from the Dollar Store for Chirst's sake. Not some fancy schmacy department store because he knows the value of a dollar and won't be swept up in this nation's obsession with luxury and capitalism.
The absolute best part of this whole thing is that they wanted to get a ride to the airport so they could spend the weekend in New York, which I wholly applaud. There are only so many airboat gator tours you can take or rodeos you can watch at the Kissimmee Sports Arena before you need to venture outside your comfort zone.
Far too often we mock Florida people for being human raccoons with no descendible culture except truck nuts and cut off t-shirts. Of course, the proliferation of that stereotype is something I would never participate in.
But these bold Floridians wanted to spread their wings beyond the speed infested beach cities which they are accustomed. They wanted to experience the clean, friendly, slow-paced way of life the Big Apple has to offer. And who could blame them? Then again it only seems clean, friendly, and slow-paced to them because most of Florida is on methamphetamines or bath salts. But perspective is everything.
“Deputies DID help them with their belongings, and DID give them a ride, but it wasn’t to the airport … it was to the Polk Pokey," the sheriff's office said in a Facebook post. “And they are welcome to stay there all weekend long. The Polk Pokey is much better than New York anyway."
So I say free these thrifty bandits. The economy is a mess and times are tough. We should be encouraging people who find new ways to save money, not punishing them. And in a world where everyone thinks they deserve the best of everything, we should appreciate those who will settle for a weekend trip to this place…
