4 Player Arcade Games Were The Peak In Video Gaming And I Refuse To Be Told Otherwise

Dante6/16/2023 5:00 PM

I've been having flashbacks to my childhood glory days a lot over the past few months, in the form of big boy arcade games.

Yup, we're talking the 4 player, "co-op" (as the nerds call them), specials from the 90s.

So much better than the Atari shit our parents grew up with, and juuuuuuuuust before shit went from like 64 bit to virtual reality like kids have everywhere today. It was the perfect balance. I truly believe that and refuse to hear otherwise.

There was simply nothing better than getting dropped off at your local arcade (for me and my friends it was "Fun & Games" right on Route 9 in Natick), with a $10 dollar bill you'd cash in for a sack of quarters and hours to kill.

If you were smart, and with one or more of your friends, you'd head to one of the 4 player machines and suit up for battle.

(The only exception to this was the racing game "Cruisin' USA" which offered, for what we had at our disposal, the closest experience at the time to racing an actual Ferrari with pedals, stick, and stiff wheel. And the graphics were great. That game fucked.)

Kid today will never know the joy of playing on a joystick that moved in only 8 directions. With only two buttons. On a pixelated screen. And feeding quarters into the slot endlessly. There was a beauty and entertainment factor that was unparalleled due to that era's simplicity.

Disclaimer- Yes, NBA Jam was awesome, I'm not knocking it whatsoever. And NFL Blitz was even better. But if we're ranking the 4 best of the best 4-player games, I have to go with the following:

#4 - Gauntlet

"Gauntlet" was the game that taught us the importance of cooperation and sharing food. In this fantasy-themed arcade masterpiece, you and your pals embarked on a quest to navigate through mazes filled with hordes of enemies. With classes like Warrior, Wizard, Valkyrie, and Elf, each player brought something unique to the table. Plus, let's not forget the iconic voiceovers warning us about food, keys, and those pesky ghosts. This game was nerve racking as fuck, but you could seriously play for hours without ever getting bored, or close to beating it, if you had enough quarters.

This game was also the ultimate test of friendship because you had to share in order to survive. You know food, that thing you never had to be concerned about as a 10 year old because your parents took care of that? Yah, food was a major issue in Gauntlet and if you had a piece of shit selfish buddy who wouldn't share a turkey when you needed one, chances are a fist fight was breaking out.

You're also lying if you say those ominous voices don't still haunt you to this day.

#3- X-Men

This one is kind of cheating because instead of 4 players, it had the capability for 6.

From Wolverine's claws to Cyclops' optic blasts, each character had their own kick-ass moves. The arcade cabinet was MASSIVE, featuring six player stations, and two angled screens, so you and your friends could all join in on the action. And don't forget the speakers booming with Magneto's voice, "Welcome to die!"

This game had it all—awesome superhero action, colorful graphics, and mutant powers that made you feel like you could take on the world. You and your friends teamed up as Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, and others to battle against the forces of evil. Picture this: you're blasting your enemies with Cyclops' optic beams while your friend unleashes a whirlwind as Storm.

#2 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, "Turtles In Time"

Chances are you spent a considerable amount of your childhood quarters on this awesome beat 'em up. Playing as Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, or Raphael, you and your buddies fought your way through the Foot Clan, saving April O'Neil and defeating Shredder. The game had fantastic graphics, catchy tunes, and who could forget that delightful pizza power-up? Plus, the four Ninja Turtles and the four player arcade game were basically destined for each other. If you only had 2 or 3 buddies, you'd quickly make friends with the guy who completed your foursome (usually getting stuck with Donatello).

#1- The Simpsons

I was at the Lyrical Lemonade office in Chicago the other day with Danny, Tom, and Sean from Barstool Chicago, and they had this in the waiting room.

Memory after great memory came flooding back to some of the best Saturday's ever being a kid, revolving around playing this game with friends.

One of the greatest tv shows of all time was by far the greatest 4 player arcade game of all time.

This game was a riot from start to finish. Playing as Homer, Marge, Bart, or Lisa, you set out to save little Maggie from the clutches of the evil Mr. Burns. As you bashed enemies left and right, you couldn't help but giggle at Homer's hilarious phrases and Bart's mischievous pranks. It was like stepping into an episode of the show, but with a controller in hand. No game could capture the essence of the beloved cartoon family better than "The Simpsons" arcade game.

In the game, you embarked on a quest that took you throughout Springfield to save baby Maggie from the clutches of the evil Mr. Burns. From the iconic "D'oh!" to Bart's skateboard and Marge's vacuum cleaner attack, the game perfectly captured the humor and charm of the TV show. Plus, you got to beat up bad guys with a vacuum cleaner. Need I say more?

Whether it was hurling Homer at enemies, Bart's trusty slingshot, or Marge's powerful vacuum tornado, "The Simpsons" arcade game had it all. The colorful graphics, the hilarious dialogue, and the addictive gameplay made it an instant classic.

p.s. - this guy brought up a good point. Battle Toads had so much potential. Could have been one of the all-time greats. they just made the game fucking impossible! way too hard.