Gronk Tweets That He's Bored! This Can Only Mean His Comeback is About to Begin!
Aha! There is it at last.
To steal a phrase from every movie and TV show ever where a lazy screenwriter wants to establish an ominous mood of soldiers facing imminent danger, Rob Gronkowski's retirement has been quiet. Too quiet. We've gotten none of the cryptic social media posts that require NFL bloggers to decipher clues, answer riddles, and solve the mystery of what's happening between Gronk's ears. In fact, it's been since mid-July that we've gotten any speculation at all that he's thinking about unretiring for a second time:
Since then, it's been nothing but ads where he wants to pretend to be a military veteran so he can get a break on his health insurance premiums and appearances on Fox's NFL coverage.
So this can only mean that he's re-unretiring, right? What else could it possibly mean? Sure, in the past he's put this exact kind of ambiguous, enigmatic message out there only for it to be followed by an ad for some energy drink he's endorsing, a dirt bike race he's the celebrity spokesman for, or a party he's hosting during the "Big Game" he hasn't bought the rights to mention by name.
But that was then. This is, according to my watch, NOW. There's simply no way Gronk would post that he's bored unless the cure for that boredom is NFL football. To have it be anything less - say, building up interest only to have it be a promotional thing like Trump making a "big announcement" that turns out to be selling NFTs of him wearing space suits and such - would be uncouth. And a disservice not only to Gronk, but a blow to celebrities everywhere trying to gin up interest in some money-making side hustle.
So let's just go with it. Gronk is going to be suiting up for the Buccaneers this week in order to help Tom Brady win his eighth ring. Then the two of them will return to New England together next year so Brady and Bill Belichick can each win their ninth. Anything less is unacceptable.
Your move, Gronk.
