Lighten the Fuck Up! Walter was a Wealthy Old Man With an Affinity for Young, Busty, Blondes...

Brad Washburn. Getty Images.

Walter was a wealthy old man with an affinity for young, busty blondes. When he passed away suddenly at 77, his third wife, Stacey, who was thirty-five years younger than him, was in charge of making all the arrangements. Walter's Last Will and Testament stipulated that $50,000 be spent on an elaborate funeral… 

As the last few guests departed the luncheon, Stacey turned to her best friend Jody and said with great certainty, "I'm sure Walter would be pleased with how everything went…"  

"I'm sure you're right," Jody replied, but then she leaned in close, lowered her voice, and whispered in Stacey's ear, "How much did all this really cost?" 

"I used all of it," Stacey replied. "Fifty thousand dollars…" 

"No way!" Jody immediately countered. "I mean, it was very nice, but $50,000? I don't think so…"

Stacey broke it down… "The wake was $2,000, the casket $5,000, the funeral was $12,000, the flowers were $1,500, and the luncheon was another $5,000. And, because he was a good Catholic, I donated $1,000 to the church in Walter's name. The remainder went towards the memorial stone…" 

Jody calculated quickly, "Then, $23,500 for a memorial stone. My God, how big is it?" 

"Three and a half carats…"                                                                                                                                                                           

Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968! This is LTFU Joke #137!  

Just in case you missed the last one…