Shark Attack On Australian Beach: Ranking The Worst Things To Happen To You On A Beach
UPI- An Australian teenager participating in a surf ski race escaped injury when a suspected great white shark approached and bit a hole in his surf ski.
Nathaniel Drummond, 19, was competing in the race Sunday at Seacliff Beach in Adelaide, South Australia, when he was flung into the ocean by a sudden impact.
"The shark just came up and hit me from beneath," Drummond told 7News. "All of a sudden I felt my ski just lift above the water and next thing I knew I was in the air and then I was in the water."
Absolutely insane close call. Nathaniel Drummond is lucky to be alive and I know he'll be the first to admit that. Happy he's doing well.
Obviously the threat of a shark attack, and worse an actual shark attack is one of the worst fears any time you enter a beach. As my friend Paul "Dontnudgemebro" Civ once said down the shore, "real nice you guys jumping around splashing in the water, you know there's sharks in there right?" Paul only went in up to his chest at max that summer. That's a deal breaker for some people. Can't trust the ocean and avoid it the best they can.
I think it's safe to say shark attacks rank #1 on the list of the worst things that can happen to you on the beach or in the water, but let me make a case for a few things that can challenge it.
5- Bathing suit falling off
Hasn't happened to me but you bet your ass I tie my trunks tightttttt when i go in the water with waves. I'm convinced no one loses their bathing suit within an arms reach ... that thing picks up speed the minute it's gone and moves fast. It's 40 feet and 7 families beach setups away before you can even blink.
4- Getting Sun Burnt
I know what you are saying , "Oh Bosco, what a simp of course sun burn sucks ! How original? " Let me remind you sunburn fucking sucks and can effect your entire day, and sometimes weekend if you aren't careful. Showering with sunburn is like getting stabbed repeatedly. Putting a shirt on with sunburn is like trying to rip off a bandaid if the bad aid was the entire size of your back. Sun burn is awful and getting sun burnt sucks balls, it has to be on the list. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Bonus- imagine having to put sunscreen on your head? Feel bad for those guys, pack extra hats, or never take your hat off would be my advice.
3- Falling asleep and waking up to high tide splashing on your chair
The worst. Nothing ruins a nap like the cold splash under your like an unexpected high tide. Then you gotta do the awkward scramble to grab your flip flips and hope your cooler doesn't get soaked, your towel etc. Brutal. Hey ocean, just let me sleep in peace please, huh? Thanks.
2- Going for a leisurely walk and coming up upon a couple running who does that weird thing where they split around you
How's that for specific?
Ok so let me set the stage. You and your girlfriend or boyfriend, or even dad or mom go for a walk. You want a nice little stroll to talk, or your dad says "Hey I need some exercise let's go for a walk and we'll talk about the Mets?" Sure I'm in.
You walk side by side leisurely with zero cares in the world. If you are smart you likely left your phone up on your chair. No rush to go anywhere, just a nice day and the sun is on your head unless you're a weirdo who wears a hat everywhere.
During this walk you see two runners, running side by side, coming right at you. You know you have to make a move, or try to, but before you can even blink they do that thing where one runner goes on the outside to the left, the other goes to the outside on the right and then right behind you they meet back up running side by side.
HARDOOOOOOO!
Listen I get it, exercise is great on the beach, it's nice out, it's challenging etc. But do you have to look like a synchronized swim team with the motions? Do you have to wait until about 2 feet in front of me before you make a move to the side?
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I'm on vacation here. Be a team player and go for your run super early in the morning. Don't interrupt my walk, kids making a sandcastle or having a catch while you run past 9,000 people on the beach in the middle of the day. Come on.
1- Having to take a shit
News flash... public beaches have very few public bathrooms, if at all. If you are in a summer town it means you have to go all the way back to your house. That means you lose precious time on the beach, and if you don't time it right you are power walking (see trot running) to make it. These houses can be 6-7 blocks away sometimes, through sand at the beginning of the trip. That can get super dicey. I mean superrrr dicey. You ever trot run 3-4 blocks and realize you still have 2 more to go? You ever trot run down the boardwalk and walk in to see there's only one stall and it's occupied? Nightmare. Having to take a shit on the beach is the worst thing that can happen to you besides a shark attack.