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Report: A Woman is Accusing Jerry Jones of Forcibly Jamming His Tongue Into Her Mouth and Groping Her in Front of Cowboys Players and Coaches

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Jerry Jones is a disturbingly creepy, off-putting Lizard Person who may or may not be kept alive by drinking unicorn blood. 

He's also rich. Insanely rich. The legal assistant to the associates of the attorneys on his legal team are rich enough to buy and sell me several times over. So let me use all the disclaimer buzzwords I can to not be held liable for anything that appears in this post. Like when you talk about Scientology, it's best to give yourself all the cover you can. 

Reportedly. Allegedly. Accused. According to one particular web site. Purportedly. Possibly. Entitled to a day in court. Due process. Innocent until proven guilty. Burden of proof. Jerry Jones is a legitimate religion followed by a great many people and entitled to the same Constitutional protection of any other faith, including tax free status. (Covering all the bases with that one.) So take this report in that spirit, and don't come after me. Besides, all my money is going to a college tuition. I'm worth nothing. 

Source - A civil plaintiff is gearing up for an upcoming appeal and continuing to fight Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in court, after accusing him of sexually assaulting her in a case that has largely slipped under the radar. 

The woman chose to file under a pseudonym to reportedly minimize the risk of attracting media attention, according to her attorney. 

In the lawsuit, Jane Doe accused Jones of forcibly kissing her on the mouth without her consent on or about September 16, 2018 in the Tom Landry Room at AT&T Stadium.  She also accused Jones of sticking his tongue in her mouth, and forcibly grabbing and groping her. In court papers, Doe says the room was full of witnesses when the alleged assault happened, and that she believes the people in the room allegedly included former Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett, running back Ezekiel Elliott, Tyrone Crawford, Tyron Smith and other prominent Cowboys players.

In an alleged list of “witnesses,” Doe also named Cowboys’ defensive end Demarcus Lawrence, and Eugenia Jones, Jerry Jones’ wife. …

“Plaintiff has nightmares about what Jerry Jones did to her,” reads the complaint. “She has trouble focusing and completing day to day tasks at work and at home. Plaintiff gets nervous around men and has trouble being alone with men. Plaintiff cries often because of what Defendant Jerry Jones did to her and does not want any other woman to experience such assaults.”

Did I mention "allegedly"? Another time can't hurt.

Giphy Images.

There are just so many questions, it boggles the mind. 

Like I said at the beginning, Jerruh is preposterously wealthy. Which makes him virtually all powerful. But does having that kind of money make it so you can not only French and grope a woman against her will in a room filled with people, but keep a lawsuit quiet? I know for instance that Big Ern McCracken couldn't wait to be rich so he could be above the law:

… but this, if true (there's another qualifier), seems extreme. Obviously the people mentioned in this report have all been beholden to Jones. But not the people involved in legal proceedings. How does a court case "slip under the radar"? A salacious one at that? With the sort of lurid details that are clickbait gold? How does that stay under wraps for four years or however long? 

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Next, why is it coming out now? What could possibly have changed to make this particular, damaging case surface at this particular time? To come back above the radar, so to speak? 

Supposedly. 

I'm not suggesting for one hot second that Dan Snyder would be privy to the information contained in this report and leak it to a site like League of Justice, just as some sort of a warning shot across the bow of the NFL, the other owners or the Commissioner. Not at all. That would be irresponsible of me. Especially since Snyder himself is so litigious. It's probably just a coincidence that this story comes four days after Jones was specifically singled out in that other one about the "dirt." So I will not connect those dots. 

Instead, I'll just say there are interesting days ahead for the members of the NFL's Billionaire's Club.