David S. Portnoy Was ROBBED Of The Nobel Prize In Economics
99.9% of the human race gives zero fucks about who wins the Nobel Prize in Economics. And not just because technically there isn't a Nobel Prize in Economics. There are Nobel Prizes for Peace, Physics, Chemistry, and Literature. But the Economics "Nobel Prize" is actually the Sveriges Riksbank Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel. But I digress…
The real reason normal humans don't care is that the prize is usually awarded to some nerd locked in the bowels of a University with a shitty football program who is recognized for something super theoretical. And for the most part, the committee stuck to the script in 2022…
Meet Douglas Diamond…
UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO HANDOUT. Shutterstock Images.… and Phlip Dybvig, who looks like he'd spend his prize money buying the foam block that Adriana Chechik landed on…
WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY ST LOUIS. Shutterstock Images.But it was the third winner that had people losing their damn minds in the world of high finance…
Jonathan Ernst. Getty Images.Ben Bernanke (and Doug and Phil for that matter) won “for research on banks and financial crises” according to the Nobel site.
Just one problem. Ben Bernanke was the Fed Chair in the lead up and during the 2008 financial crisis. And a lot of people blame him for the shit storm and not doing enough to stop the bleeding. Joe Rogan's favorite journalist Matt Taibbi called it "the drunkest decision of all time."
It's not quite giving Vlad Putin the Nobel Peace Prize if he decided to end the war in Ukraine. But it's close.
So, if not Ben, then who?
I'm glad you asked. There is only one man: Dave Portnoy.
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Listen, this has nothing to do with him being my boss. I am simply an impartial financial pundit that gives credit where credit is due…
David S. Portnoy's resume speaks for itself…
- Ushered in a new class of investors (dubbed "Retail Bros" by the Financial Times)
- Pioneered innovative ways for investors to utilize stimmy checks
- Defended THE PEOPLE from financial criminals like Vlad Tenev
- Spearheaded innovative investment approaches (see: Scrabble tiles)
- Discovered "stocks only go up"
- Carefully placed (so as to not break the hip of) Warren Buffett in a body bag
- Gave the world hope when banging pots and pans at 8 PM and washing our groceries just wasn't cutting it
Of course, the establishment was too afraid to do the right thing and award the Sveriges Riksbank Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel to the CIO of Davey Day Trader Global for his work on financial literacy amid a global crisis.
The good news is that the committee has the opportunity to right their wrong next year, and award that cool little medallion and the $1 million prize** to David S. Portnoy.
Your move, Sveriges Riksbank Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel Committee.
** We all know Dave would immediately donate the $1 million prize money to the Barstool Fund… which he should probably win the Nobel Peace Prize for if we're being totally honest
BTW, Large and I host a twice-weekly markets and money podcast called The Family Office and I write a daily business and markets newsletter called The Water Coolest. If you're into that kinda thing.
