Pro's & Con's of a Quarterback with No Legs
Blog Wheel coming at you again this week, this time with a crazy twist. The NFL kicked off last week, so we're doing strictly NFL topics.
Thanks again to everyone who played along and responded with their topics. No thank you to @pete86159200, who suggests that I think of my own.
Next week I'm going to have people submit entire paragraphs.
Here are the topics that made the wheel this week:
- The last 20 Mr. Irrelevants (last pick in the NFL draft
- What players would you take to Senior Prom?
- Pro's & Con's of having a QB with no legs
- Greatest athlete-owned restaurants that are no longer in business
- How good each team would be if their team was made up of their team nickname (like a team of Jaguars, a team of Texans, a team of Browns. etc.) - there's some jokes I would be afraid to make there
- Best fan traditions
- Coaches that look most like their team mascots
- Make up a juicy scandal for an NFL team
Here is this week's spin:
Thank you for the topic Kevin Lynch. Kevin sent this to me at the end of the Colts game. I think he was referencing Matt Ryan. If there is any quarterback who doesn't have legs, it's Matt Ryan. That being said, he did pick up a first down on the ground against the Texans on Sunday.
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He actually didn't look terribly slow on that play. I haven't watched Matt Ryan especially closely over the years. I've always assumed he was a predominantly still quarterback. I will be watching him much more now that he's on the Colts (I'm a Colts fan), so maybe he'll prove me wrong (I doubt it).
To be honest, QB's who can't run drive me crazy. It's funny that someone can have such great arm talent, and such little leg talent. How can the best football throwers in the world look so incredibly inept when they have to do anything other than stand still and throw? To the point that when they have to move around even the slightest bit, their legs fully give out from under them.
Sorry, that was a cheap shot at Joe Flacco. I wanted to make a joke about Eli Manning sacking himself. Like when the pocket would start to collapse around him and he'd just turtle to the ground instead of making any effort whatsoever to escape the pocket. I just couldn't find a good example of it on YouTube.
If I had to choose between a quarterback with legs, or no legs, I would choose legs every time. Some might say Lamar Jackson is a quarterback without arms. It's a major pet peeve of mine when people say, "Lamar Jackson isn't a great quarterback, he's just a great runner". If you want to say he's not a great passer, that's perfectly fine, I'll give you that. But more things go into being a quarterback than throwing the football. I will concede that throwing is the most important skill for a quarterback to have, but if you're not the best thrower, you can make up for it by being a threat to run. If Lamar Jackson goes 8-14 with 110 passing yards, and 200 rushing yards, that is just as effective as Tom Brady going 30-40 with 310 passing yards. Those are equal quarterback performances in my mind. If someone averages 500 yards rushing from the quarterback position without ever having to throw the ball, he would be the best quarterback in the league.
Ok, rant over. Back to the question at hand. The pros and cons of having a quarterback without legs.
PRO: Less injury prone
Legless quarterback don't constantly make cuts at high speeds, or take hits downfield. And if they do end up with a lower body injury, it won't be as big of a detriment to their game.
Consider this: Vontaze Burfict comes back from the dead and gets a contract with the Steelers. At some point, he is going to get ahold of a quarterback, and intentionally snap his femur into a million pieces. If that happens to Lamar Jackson, the Ravens' season is over. When RGIII broke his leg on every play of that playoff game on Washington's shitty field, his career ended abruptly. He didn't have the arm talent to play legless. But if that happens to Matt Ryan, the Colts won't skip a beat. You don't need to worry about him sustaining a lower body injury, because his lower body is irrelevant. He doesn't need "legs" to be effective. We've seen this with quarterbacks in the past. Byron Leftwich played with a broken leg back at Marshall. His offensive line would simply carry him downfield after the play.
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CON: They won't be able to walk at their kid's graduation
Shoutout to legless basketball player Derrick Rose. Legless NBA players are few and far between, but they do exist. Players like Greg Oden, Brandon Roy, and Yao Ming all played in the NBA without legs.
PRO: Career Longevity
A quarterback with no legs can play into his 40's. Michael Vick is 3 years younger than Tom Brady, and he's been out of the league for several years. Brady is going to be on a roster until he's 50.
CON: Will be difficult to run for president
Roosevelt went through hell trying to conceal the fact that he didn't have legs, and he looked ridiculous.
PRO: Less Holding Penalties
Your offensive line will benefit from a quarterback with no legs, because they will always know exactly where he is. Never will they have to worry about their quarterback leaving a perfectly clean pocket. A lot of quarterbacks tend to leave the pocket too early. Johnny Manziel did it all the time. An offensive lineman might think he's squarely blocking his assignment, when in reality the quarterback is already past the line of scrimmage. The defender disengages, the o-lineman doesn't realize what's happening, and it results in a holding penalty.
CON: Phantom Pains
People who are missing limbs often experience excruciating phantom pains where their legs or arms used to be. The pain is typically experienced in the area furthest from the body (if you're missing a leg, you will experience pain in the "foot"). The Mayo Clinic describes the pain as "shooting, stabbing, cramping, pins and needles, crushing, throbbing, or burning." That will be tough to deal with in the midst of an NFL game.
PRO: Handicap Parking
It's the perfect parking spot. It's right in front of the entrance to the store, and it's always open.
CON: You can't wear camouflage (unless you're a troop)
If you have no legs, and you wear camouflage, that is stolen valor. Everyone will assume that you lost your legs in the war. I have all of my extremities, but I still would feel uncomfortable wearing camouflage because I'm afraid people would think I'm trying to be a troop. This is going to put your quarterback in a sticky situation during the NFL's Salute to Service month.
PRO: Disability payments
You won't have to pay your quarterback as much money because he will be collecting disability checks. I have no idea how disability works. What if I lost my foot in a tragic Barstool accident? Would the government just cut me a check? What if I just lost a few toes? I bet the return on investment isn't worth disabling myself. However, if someone showed me a way I could harm my body or mind in a way that wasn't too drastic, and it gave me an extra couple thousand dollars a month, I would be open to doing that. It's probably an extra tax form though, so that alone might make it not worth it.
CON: Shoes + Pants
There's a lot of cool shoes and pants out there that you won't be able to shop for. You can always do the thing where you put the shoe on the end of your stump/peg leg. You could wear pants around your waist and have the pant legs flop down to the ground. At a quick glance it might look like you have legs, but anyone who looks at your for more than a couple seconds will easily be able to tell that you are a legless fraud.
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(Google Image search "man with no legs" and scroll down for a while. You'll see some examples of what I'm talking about. I really wanted to include this one picture, but it seemed pretty insensitive to put a kind legless man's picture alongside the phrase "legless fraud")
I'm no longer talking about football whatsoever, so I'm going to end this blog. Thank you so much for you time. I hope you don't completely hate it. If you do I'm sorry.