The Official & Correct Sunflower Seed Rankings

I have been a seeder ever since I started playing Pee Wee baseball at 8 years old. At no point in my life have a stopped seeding. I seed to the point where my teeth hurt and my tongue is completely raw. There is not a person in the world who is more qualified to tier sunflower seeds than me. If you disagree with my opinions, you are incorrect. 

S-Tier

David's Original Sunflower Seeds are the goat. They are him. I would choose them 1:1 in any sunflower seeds draft. You will never be disappointed, and you will never get tired of eating original seeds. You might get to a point where you can't eat them anymore because the salt has ruined your tongue, but that just speaks to how delicious they are. Also, fuck the 'Jumbo' seeds. I don't know why David thinks I want all of his seeds in Jumbo. I would rather have more small seeds than fewer Jumbo seeds. I think David's Original is the only seed that comes in non-Jumbo anymore.

David's Buffalo Style Ranch puts all other ranch flavored sunflower seeds in a body bag. They have just the right amount of kick to them. The smell is delightfully pungent. They are not a great see to eat at the office, because people around you will smell them, but that doesn't make them any less delicious.

David's Cracked Pepper seeds taste like meat. When I'm eating them, I feel like I'm at a steakhouse. Not sure if that makes any sense, but that's what I'm going with. They also have the best tasting "sunflower seed sticks". Sunflower seed sticks are literally the small sticks (or pieces of bark?) that you sometimes find mixed in with your seeds. They're always covered in a ton of flavor, and are arguably the best part of the bag.

A-Tier

I was close to dropping David's Bar-B-Q to the B-Tier, but they're so tried and true that I couldn't bring myself to do it. They've been with me my whole life. They're not my most favorite, but every now and then I'll get a craving that only David's Bar-B-Q can satisfy. 

Bigs Buffalo Wing, on the other hand, were extremely close to getting the call up to S-Tier. The only thing that kept them from being bumped up, is the fact that the best way to enjoy them is by eating them along with David's Buffalo Style Ranch. The Buffalo Wing/Buffalo Style Ranch combo is the most elite sunflower seed combo in the game. It's not even close. Buffalo Wing seeds stand on their own, but not quite enough to get them to S.

There are many occasions where I prefer Bigs Cracked Pepper to David's Cracked Pepper. David's Cracked Pepper definitely have better flavor, but they are much more heavily seasoned. Bigs Cracked Pepper have better longevity than David's. I could eat David's Cracked Pepper for 2 hours straight, whereas I could eat Bigs for 4 hours. When it comes down to it, the flavor of Bigs doesn't quite stand up to David's, but they are an incredible seed nonetheless. 

B-Tier

There are very limited sweet sunflower seed options out there, but the David's Sweet & Salty are definitely the best. You have to be in the mood for them, but it's the only true way to satisfy your sweet tooth and seed tooth at the same time. I've long said somebody needs to make a cinnamon sugar seed. I know that it would do numbers. 

Bigs Old Bay have an extremely unique seafoody flavor. If you gave me one handful of every flavor of seed, I would probably rank Old Bay in the S-Tier. The problem with Old Bay is that they get old quick. A pro move is to mix them with Original flavored seeds. It stretches out the flavor, and allows you to enjoy them for longer without getting tired of the fishy flavor. 

Bigs Stubbs Bar-B-Q, and Jim Beam Barbecue are extremely similar. It's been a little while since I've had either, but in my mind they are the same flavor. They are a sweeter option than David's Bar-B-Q, which sometimes is just what the doctor ordered.

David's Ranch might be getting bad wrap here. There was a time in my life when I would have called David's Ranch my favorite seed. They're just dominated but the Buffalo Style Ranch flavor so hard. It's sad to see, but David's Ranch is no longer the premier ranch flavored seed.

C-Tier

David's Jalapeño Hot Salsa have potential, but there's just something missing. They have a nice kick, but I've never been truly satisfied when I eat them. They don't hold a candle to Big's Buffalo Wing flavor.

David's Spicy Queso has taken the place of David's Nacho Cheese. Someone on Twitter told me you can still find Nacho Cheese in snack pack sizes, but it's been a decade since I've seen them in the wild. I remember liking David's Nacho Cheese as a kid, but the new Spicy Queso doesn't do it for me. You just can't replicate the flavor of cheese without using real cheese.

I don't have much to say about Bigs Hidden Valley Ranch. They're ok. Definitely a step below David's Ranch. They don't have a ton of flavor. I'll only purchase them if I'm looking to shake things up. 

I was so excited when Bigs Taco Supreme first hit the shelves. Sadly, I was disappointed when I tried them. I would describe Bigs Taco Supreme as "dank". They have a lot of seasoning, and a heavy flavor, but the taste itself is nothing to write home about. They need more spice. If Bigs came out with a Taco Supreme Fire Sauce flavor, I would be all about it.

D-Tier

I haven't had David's Chili Lime more then a couple of times, but I know I don't like them. I'm not a big fan of lime flavors unless it's in a drink. Twitter user @louie_louiee_ had this to say about them. He seems like he knows what he's talking about so I'll just share his take.

David's Sweet and Spicy are just weird. I said this earlier, but it's really criminal that there aren't more sweet options. I need to give David's Sweet and Spicy another chance, because I can't quite place the flavor right now. All I know is I bought a bag one time and never finished it. Which is a ringing indictment against any seed.

I'd be willing to hear someone out about Bigs Sizzlin' Bacon being put in a higher tier. I personally am not a huge fan of bacon unless it's for breakfast. The flavor is too overpowering. I had a boss who used to eat them all the time, but I would occasionally grab a handful. They made me feel greasy. But if you're big fan of bacon I would imagine they're pretty good.

F-Tier

Whereas I respect people who love bacon, I do not respect people who eat pickles. Fuck everything pickles. People who purchase pickle flavored snacks should be put on some sort of watch list. As I've gotten older, I have greatly expanded my pallet, but pickles are one thing I will never attempt to like. If pickles disappeared from the earth tomorrow the world would be a better place. 

Note: I do like the Vlasic Pickles stork mascot. I think we would be friends, as long as he did not push his pickles agenda on me.

Poor Tier

Don't get it twisted, I am NOT slandering Spitz or Lays seeds (ok maybe a little bit). All of the flavors in the Poor Tier will more than get the job done (except maybe the Chili Lime). But you can't deny that they are for poor people. The best thing about them is that they're cheap. They are not as good as David's or Bigs, so if you have your money up you'll choose the bigger brands every time. But when money is tight, and you need to get your seed on, Spitz and Lays are viable options. Lays BBQ are actually very good. They are maybe just as good as David's Bar-B-Q, but that doesn't mean they're not for poor.

Fuck You Tier

Fuck you Little Caesars. Why do brands think we want pizza flavored shit? If I want something pizza flavored I'll order a pizza. Marinara sauce, cheese, and pepperoni is one of the top food combinations in the world, but it doesn't hold up when you powderize it and put it on sunflower seeds.

David's evil brother Darius really thought he had something with his Sushi flavored seeds. I've never actually had these, so they could be good. But what the fuck does sushi flavored even mean? Sushi isn't a flavor. There's a million different flavors of sushi. They could be incredible, but I guarantee if did a blind taste test, you would never guess that they were "sushi flavored". 

I feel the same way about Bigs Cheeseburger seeds as I do Bigs Pepperoni Pizza. You can't powderize the flavor of a cheeseburger. It's just weird. I don't like when snacks claim flavors that you could never identify without the label. 

?-Tier

All of the seeds in the ?-tier are seeds I have not tried yet, and didn't feel comfortable judging. I'm pretty confident I wouldn't like the Bigs Chile Limon or the David's Bacon Mac & Cheese. However, I think Sour Cream & Onion, and Takis Fuego could be game changers. Next time I see them in a store I will definitely buy them. I can't imagine David's Sour Cream & Onion being less than B-tier. Takis Fuego seeds sound like more of a wild card, but I'm hoping that they're a tastier, spicier version of the Bigs Taco Bell Supreme flavor.  

Hell

As I was tiering seeds, I asked my co-workder Spider what his favorite flavor was. He said lightly salted. I'm pretty sure that's what David's Reduced Sodium is. What a pussy. I'm not eating seeds because I want to watch my salt intake. I SUPPOSE if my tongue was raw from seeding, I might enjoy a more lightly salted seed. I do like the less flavorful Cracked Pepper seeds sometimes. But I promise you I will never walk into a gas station and make that purchase. I have far too much pride for that. David's Reduced Sodium can go straight to hell.