If You Don't Sit In Assigned Seats At The Dinner Table With Your Family, Your Entire Family Is A Bunch Of Psychos That Should Be Thrown In Jail For Life And Never Be Allowed To Eat Dinner Again

Shutterstock Images.

Is that title a bit much? It feels like a bit much, even though that type of hyperbole was common place at Barstool back in the day. I guess you can also say that anybody who uses a thumbnail like that should be thrown in a bath of acid. But again, there are rules here at Barstool now that we have to adhere to when it comes to pictures so we don't get sued for a kabillion dollars due to copyright infringement that our lawyers call The KFC Clause.

Anyway speaking of rules, I always thought that everyone sat in assigned seats at their house's dinner table. Not literal assigned seats like in school that has your name on it your first day there. But a seat that becomes yours throughout the your youth that stays yours even when you visit your old folks' home with rug rats of your own. It's yours for breakfast, lunch, dinner, board game night, and everything in between.

You can always sit in someone else's seat in a pinch if there are guests over. But that will usually result in your mind being blown seeing your house from their dinner table perspective and may lead to them kindly asking what the FUCK you are doing in their seat.

Also if you sit in your dad's seat, you almost always will feel like Simba walking in Mufasa's paw print.

Any other way of living is chaos! Mass hysteria! Cats and dogs living together! I know that little kids can be giant assholes that refuse to listen to even the littlest bit of directions and simply getting them to eat delicious foods like chicken nuggets or mac n cheese in the same seat or anywhere in the house is a miracle. But those kids are going to grow up to become adults in a society and they need to have the type of order in their life, which starts at home with the same seats every day at the kitchen table.

That being said, we got a lot of interesting responses when we threw this question out to the #PodFam on Twitter, which as a parent I completely understand.

Advertisement

Advertisement

So check out our conversation about assigned seats, spankings coming back to school, and if it's okay to only adopt one of your new wife's two kids on this week's Podfathers. Or don't. It's up to you I suppose. But if you do like this type of hard hitting content, you can subscribe to the podcast here.