FULL RECAP BLOG: House Of The Dragon Episode 1 Was Fucking Awesome And I Am So Goddamn Happy We Are Back To A Good Place In Westeros

Well that was fucking awesome, huh? I mean it wasn't a perfect episode of TV. But it was a really fucking good one complete with all the stuff we love seeing in Thrones, which could be summed up perfectly with those letters.

My biggest nitpick is that we didn't get an intro at the beginning. However, it may be impossible to top this absolute masterpiece, which may be the best HBO intro when you consider it evolved with the show and has maybe the best theme song ever.

We really need to have a Dog Walk Draft of HBO intros because Thrones, Sopranos, Curb, Ballers, Entourage, Peacemaker all are first round picks and were literally just the first six shows that I thought of. HBO is truly more than TV.

I also heard that we may get the intro next episode, so stay tuned!

How #BACK is Thrones? Let's take a quick glance at a random slice of the capital of the planet.

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Do you guys ever think if Benioff & Weiss didn't completely crash the landing of Thrones back in 2019, our world would've never plunged into utter chaos in 2020? Good, me too.

Luckily those guys were nowhere near last night's episode, which we had a delightful time recapping like we will every week right after HBO runs the credits on Sunday night along with random guest appearances by our Barstool pals that watch the show.

As is usually the case in the basement, things got weird. So be sure to subscribe to the My Mom's Basement YouTube to get the episodes as soon as they drop.

Some other quick thoughts from the episode:

- God dammit, learning all the names, houses, cultural references, social structures, and everything else in the extremely rich world that George R.R. Martin created is going to be a pain in the ass. I was calling half of the main characters in episode 1 The Blonde Guy or The Blonde Chick and I imagine there is going to be no shortage of people that I can call Brother Fucker, Sister Fucker, or Cousin Fucker. 

- For people that need help explaining exactly what's going on, here is a spoiler-free breakdown of everything you need to know for House of the Dragon.

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- Even after watching this video, I still have no clue any of the names of the guys in the jousting games but I liked all of them. I also have no clue how it's legal to spear your opponents' horse in jousting. Feels like that should be a DQ or at the very least a 15 yard penalty and an automatic first down.

- The one guy in the joust if not the entire show I know I hate is Daemon Targaryen, who has maaaaaaajor Scar from Lion King vibes. In fact, I wouldn't be shocked if George R.R. Martin said he straight up lifted Scar from Lion King while writing the books.

- Unrelated but related, Jeremy Irons fucking rules and "Be Prepared" is a lowkey JAM, outside of the extremely uncomfortable 1930s Germany vibes it portrays.

- I'm officially a fan of the Hightower family. Yeah it seems weird that in a land where people have sweet names like Daemon and Rhanyrea, some shlub named Otto could be the Hand of the King (no offense to all the Stoolies named Otto out there). I also can admit that Ser Otto pimping out his daughter in one of her dead mother's dresses was a tough look and Tim Hightower never really delivered on the fantasy promise that I thought a running back with his type of hands had. 

But the Hightowers have a cool name, seem like decent people, and their crest is fucking FIRE both literally and figuratively.

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- In case all that wasn't enough of a reason to love Otto Hightower, check out this fun ass fact about him.

- I like the king. I don't remember his first name but I like him because he seems like a good person that cares about his family and the people he rules.

Which is why I know that dude is dead fucking meat after seeing the carnage George R.R. Martin's sick brain churned out in Thrones. RIP In Peace, pal. If I had to guess, it'll be Daemon with his super bad guy looking dragon in the throne room. Or you are gonna die from an infected scab, which would be peak Thrones.

- Don't bonk me, but it just felt right being right in a Westeros brothel, even though I missed this guy causing chaos.

- Two things I forgot that I loved about Thrones was sweet names for swords like Widow's Wail as well as people pledging their allegiance to houses while raising their sword. I've also become a Sword Guy recently, so I admit that I may be biased.

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- For the people asking if the delivery room is as chaotic in modern times as it appeared to be last night, I have three words for ya.

SUBSCRIBE TO PODFATHERS FOR MORE ON THE JOYS OF CHILDBIRTH AND PARENTING!

- I know people loved the nod to Game of Thrones. However I am still mad that this incredible story they talked about ended so shitty because Benioff & Weiss smashed the Fast Forward button on the last two seasons since they didn't have George R.R. Martin's work to copy off of.

You know what? New season, new me. I hate people that complain about this Mets season because other Mets seasons ended in disaster. This is the last time I will mention how bad Season 8 was along with KFC, Riggs, and I being right for calling out 

- Speaking of Game of Stools, it is back! We have brought that podcast feed back from the dead Jon Snow style. So subscribe on Apple Podcast or Spotify if you want to get your Thrones takes from there.

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- We also will be going live on the My Mom's Basement YouTube page every week with our post-show recaps at 10:15 PM ET. So make sure to subscribe to that on YouTube and check out last night's recap with the blood fresh on our hands.

If you wanna listen on the My Mom's Basement feed to help #keepthebasementlightson, you can do that too by subscribing on Apple or Spotify.

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- Finally it wouldn't be a Barstool blog if we didn't have some merch ready to roll by the end of episode one. So our pal Feits has you covered.