Suburb Saturdays Volume 1: What To Do When Your Neighbor Never Mows Their Lawn

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I am 36 years old, married with two kids and live in the suburbs. When people typically ask me what I did over the weekend I have very little to say other than things like "We went to the zoo", "soccer practice", "had to run to Home Depot to fix my toilet" or a number of other extremely boring things that surely make my co-workers not envy my life. But the truth of it is, I love my life. I had my fun in they way my mid-late 20-something co-workers presently enjoy. Lived in New York City for about seven years, but that time has passed and I just do more adult shit now. And I'm certain I'm not alone. Plenty of other people have aged with me and now just aren't that exciting. But that doesn't mean that we don't have stuff to talk about. So every Saturday I'll put out a new blog about living in the burbs and give advice on how I'd handle certain situations. Feel free to DM me any ideas on Twitter or Instagram for me to potentially write about.

My first topic is something that every neighborhood seems to have: a homeowner that just doesn't take care of their home and won't even mow their lawn. I'm no Uncle Chaps to the point where I become handy or an asset even to projects my wife we decide to take on, but I do try. I'll mow the lawn, saw some wood when needed, install kid gates, and attempt to fix toilets. But as someone who at least kind of tries, I find it particularly irksome of that one neighbor that doesn't mow the lawn…like ever. 

The house is never abandoned, people live there, but they just don't mow the lawn. It makes everything looks sloppy and as a guy who does mow the lawn, I feel like they're not holding up their end of the bargain. People that enter the neighborhood see their home as an eye sore and it's a stain on the community. So what do you do if this is one of your neighbors?

In real life I'm a pretty direct person. If I have a question, I'll generally go right up to the person and ask them. Same thing with relationships. No games. But in suburb/neighbor life with people you're not necessarily friends with and only see very once in awhile when you cross paths putting out the recycling or leaving your homes at the same time, barely exchanging a neighborly wave, things can be different. Telling someone that you hate their lack of effort could result poorly. Will they start tipping your recycling can over? Will they do something to your car? Could they start stealing your packages? Lots of variables from people that all you really have in common is that you've purchased homes in the same vicinity.

Therefore, I would go with a different approach here. A way that could have the same result but doesn't directly tie anything to you. Think "The Note" from The Jersey Shore.

I would send a note to the home. While most mail goes right in the garbage, but if something is addressed directly to you, written by hand, you always open it. Especially if it's something with no return address. You could even go put it in their mailbox, as long as you know they are 100% not home. Just don't sign it and don't include a return address so it's anonymous. 

Now this won't guarantee that things improve, but you'll at least make your voice heard and as an additional bonus, none of the blame gets tied back to you. It's merely an anonymous note. All that scheming will result in them receiving the letter, getting the message, and making a choice. They will know that their neighbors are unhappy with their lack of maintenance and choose to just continue to neglect their responsibilities as a homeowner OR they will actually start to mow it, whether themselves or with a lawn service. 

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If you choose to follow this path, I wish you the best of luck and hopefully your neighbors make the responsible decision, the only decision. And if you've ever dealt with this situation, let me know how you handled it in the comments. See you next Saturday!