Uh Oh. Here Comes The Putter* Throw From Jon Rahm
Okay so maybe it was a wedge throw and not a putter throw. But then the reference wouldn't have made sense.
Either way, there's nothing I enjoy more than going out and just being aggressively mean to myself on a golf course for 3.5 hours. You show up to the course full of optimism and expectations. Maybe you're even striping the ball on the range before you get going. Should you maybe stop dialing in your irons and spend a few minutes on the putting green before your round starts? Ehhhh let's just keep pounding the piss out of the ball instead. Then you step up to the first tee box and next thing you know the "power fade" comes back into play. Whatever. Breakfast ball. Time to just put this one down the middle of the fairway. Fuck. Now you overcorrected and hooked the ball straight into the shit. Oh well. You're used to playing from there anyway. Just make the smart decision and chip yourself back into the short stuff. Take your medicine. But wait...there's a little opening. I mean if you put a good swing on this ball, you could make it happen. You felt good on the range anyway. Time for the hero shot...FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT GODDAMN THIS SPORT TO HELL.
Just like that, your round is ruined. You get real passive aggressive with yourself after every shot. You thought you weren't going to drink much this round because you wanted to go low, and now you're 4 Miller Lites deep before you get to the first par 3. The only thing that is keeping you from totally going off the deep end is that in the back of your head, you know that the pros? Well they're just like us. Besides being 45 thousand times better. But they still hate themselves on the course just as much as the rest of us.
"Oh my god. Amazing line there, Jon". Proceeds to launch lob wedge directly at mic lady's skull. That's a guy who needs a pork missile or 3 at the turn.
Update: Oh no.