Hank The Tank INNOCENT!

Hank the Tank, the lovable fat fluffy bear has been exonerated of some of his crimes. Hank the Tank, Like OJ Simpson, has been declared innocent and his rap sheet has shrunk considerably. Apparently, Hank was getting the blame for the bulk of other bears' break-ins. HANK THE TANK IS A PATSY,

If you don’t know the original story of Hank let me clue you in. 

Hank the Tank Strikes again!

A 500-pound bear broke into a home in South Lake Tahoe on Friday — and it isn't the first time. The bear, known as "Hank the Tank," has broken into dozens of homes in the area and become quite a problem for locals, CBS Sacramento reports. 

Locals are contemplating whether or not to have the bear killed, as they believe it may be the only option at this point.

The bear is well-known and now wanted by the California Department of Fish and Wildlife. A spokesperson said the bear has damaged dozens of homes and is responsible for more than 150 calls.

The Department of Fish and Wildlife have been trying to track Hank for more than six months.

"These are neighborhoods, there's a lot of people around, traffic and cars. So, we have to do this in a way that is safe for both the public and the bear itself," said spokesperson Peter Tira. "This is a severely food habituated bear. What that means is this is a bear that has lost all fear of people and it sees people and homes as a source of food."

The most recent break-in took place on Catalina Drive Friday morning. The bear had broken a small window and squeezed into the home, where the homeowners had no idea how to get him out.

Officers responded and banged on the outside of the house until Hank came out the back door. They then stayed in the area to ensure he continued on his way without damaging or entering other homes.

Hank the Tank. A danger to the community. The "Bear League" and local bear activists vs Lake Tahoe residents and wildlife enforcement. One man commented that he has never locked his front door for 40 years… Until Frank the Tank came into town. 

Advertisement

Frank has many, many supporters, but will this hungry bear be saved? Or will he go the way of Harambe.

I think this is what Rogan was talking about regarding the wild crime that is afflicting California. Apparently, the trickiest part of the bear debacle is that the bear is so dependent on human for food, that he has no idea how to hunt. They think relocating the bear to the wilderness would just cause the bear to starve to death. This bear was always locally known and to many feeding it, they thought it was cute. Now they have a 500lb bear that is breaking into their houses because back when Frank was trim and cute, the local divorcee Deborah, kept leaving out bacon grease and scraps to feed the cute lonely bear. 

I mean this bear doesn't have any hunting skills. This bear ballooned up so big just off of human dependence. Think about that. He got that big only eating trash and breaking and entering. I want to know what the hell this bear was going after in the pantries of these people's houses. Was he going strictly meat? I want to know if the bear had a favorite cereal or was even chugging booze. It would be hilarious if this bear was just going house to house crushing these lake Tahoe residents' wine cellars and just decimating $1000s of dollars of fine wine. 

Keystone-France. Getty Images.

Bears love boozing. Frank the Tank is probably a fat alcoholic, unfortunately. Taking him to a wildlife preserve is probably the only option for Frank. It has to be fenced in or Frank is going to go find the booze no matter what. You see a bear that can't hunt doesn't get that big solely on scraps. I am surprised Hank has gotten so bold, you see I have the opinion that Black bears are absolute pussys and it is easy af to scare them away. 

Advertisement

You see people love Hank because he has not attacked anyone. What's going to happen when everybody starts bear-proofing and locking doors? Then you're going to have a hungry Hank the tank that's having alcohol withdrawals bringing his A-game in home invasions. 

Hank the Tank needs to be detained and put through a "My 500 lb life: Bear edition" put on Animal Planet to teach him to hunt and be self-sufficient. This bear ain't got no quit when it comes to home invasions, make him bring that same energy to fishing for himself. He will probably do better in the wild when he's sober and having to work hard for food. 

Anyway Hank the Tank might get shot. In that case, we will see how the media reacts. I don't know if he will hit Harambe status because in my opinion, Hank is a glutton beyond belief. That type of sinning doesn't get you put in meme heaven (Or does it?).