Hmmm THAT'S ODD: Scientists Reveal That Humanity Can Only Be Saved From An Asteroid Apocalypse With Nuclear Weapons

NY Post - In a recent study, scientists at the University of California analyzed how mankind might swerve extinction-by-asteroid.

The team concluded that the best means of survival would involve training thousands of the world’s nukes at it – and crossing our fingers.

“Our reason for writing the paper was to ask: ‘Could one prevent a catastrophe of this nature’,” lead author Philip Lubin, a professor of physics at UC Santa Barbara, told The Sun.

However, diverting a rock of planet-killing size with a few months’ notice simply wouldn’t be possible, Prof. Lubin says.

His analysis shows that the only viable option in that scenario would be a nuclear strike.

Stop me if you've heard this before but Armageddon is a severely underrated movie. I spent a lot of time at the start of the year fluffing its feathers as the premiere hangover movie. You guys doubted me so I watched it another 2 dozen times just to be sure. Well turns out I was right because Armageddon fucking rocks. And turns out it's not actually such a far fetched idea to blow up an asteroid using nuclear weapons and advanced space technology. 

A lot of people have reached out to me to apologize since the story broke. Naturally I accept your kind words but I want this to be a lesson in the future. If I'm getting on a soapbox about a disrespected blockbuster from my childhood, I want you guys to listen. I want some respect. This should be much easier for all of us moving forward. I don't need to spend two weeks in July defending Independence Day (1996) as a cultural phenomenon. Stymie your resistance. 

That said, I am a little disappointed NASA still can't figure out the blast zone. Billy Bob Thornton was clear about this shit.

There’s just one problem: The blasts would lead to the creation of radioactive debris that would then rain down on Earth.

While it’s a grim scenario, it’s far better than simply accepting our fate at the hands of an enormous space rock, Prof. Lubin says.

That's why they calculated the blast zone to split the asteroid in two to clear Earth after detonation. Everyone knows you can't just plant a nuke on an asteroid at any given time. You have to clear it long before impact so the debris can split in two equal parts and none of it hits Earth. That was the shot clock Harry Stamper had to play with so idk why now 25 years later we still haven't caught on. That was legitimately the #1 takeaway from the movie. You can nuke an asteroid but it was to be before the zero-barrier wall or whatever the fuck they called it.  

This to me is the only thing holding NASA back. Nobody wants to take a shower in radioactive debris from a recently nuke'd asteroid. That sounds like a lose-lose for everyone so maybe get Billy on the phone? 

Or Ben Affleck. He's certainly had a lot to say since the movie came out. Seems a lot of people think it's bullshit that oil drillers are more sophisticated than astronauts

I know he's just kidding around because nobody would outwardly disrespect Michael Bay in such a way. But deep down I wish he'd keep these comments to himself. It's well established that Harry's patent on the drill was lifted by NASA from the US patent office. He's the only guy who understands the unique technology because it was his design, and it's only his design that can be used in such remote, exotic conditions like an asteroid. They make it very clear it's the only way to drill and he's the only guy who knows how to do it. So I would say it's pretty critical to have him up there seeing as he's the only one who can troubleshoot. And when he says he only works with his crew, that's the end of the story. No need to find plot holes when he literally fills in every single gap in the NASA hangar talking to Billy Bob. So everyone calm the fuck down. I didn't hear Ben Affleck complain when he was cashing the check or playing Tummy Sticks with Liv so spare me the criticism now. Armageddon is a good movie with real life applications and it's time we start accepting that as a society. 

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Great movie. 

Better story.