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The Taliban Are Reportedly Trying To Invest In And Manufacture DeLorean

“They emailed me saying they want to invest in and mass produce my cars,” Ty explained. “They want to use them for government officials and they said the head of the Taliban Hibatullah Akhundzada signed it off and I’m now dealing with his deputy and the transport minister.”

Ty shared with CornwallLive a letter supposedly from current Afghani transport minister, Qudratullah Zaki, which said: “The Civil Aviation of Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan extends its compliments to you and your brilliant motor vehicle at Delorean motor company.

“The LTA would like to move forward with investment in your business as we have strong ties with rural markets and we believe India is already interested in your product.”

The letter goes on to say the Ty’s cars would be “perfect” for Afghanistan’s roads and that they need new cars in the country.

The Taliban have decided that our tanks, air craft, vehicles, and the other billions of supplies we left behind aren't going to get it done in 21st century Afghanistan. What they really need is a DeLorean. Probably the Back To The Future II version of the DeLorean that can fly so they don't have to worry about fixing all the bridges they blew up or the landmines they planted on the roads. 

I think their logic is actually sound here. It is the perfect automobile for the culture that wants to go back to the 9th century. Pile people into that flux capacitor, rev it up to 88MPH, and set sail through space and time to a period when you could chop your child bride's head off with no consequences or judgement from the West. I wonder what they'd actually do with a time machine though. I bet they'd go back to pre 9/11 times and kindly ask Osama bin Laden to leave. Things were going just fine for the Taliban then, by their standards. They were doing all the evil shit we knew about now, but nobody gave a shit and barely anyone knew. They had basically an entire country filled with mountains, goats, dirt roads, and all the caves you could ever dream about. Didn't even have to worry about sending your daughters to school or having electricity or any of that modern shit that complicates life. The Delorean originally went out of business in 1982 because the founder was videotaped agreeing to bankroll a drug trafficking operation. Don't think the heroine kings of the world in Afghanistan care about that. 

This might actually be perfect payback against the Taliban though. Sure, take their investment, and let them drown in money pit issues the same way the original company did. Give them a firsthand lesson in capitalism. Just make sure you do all of your board meetings over zoom.