You Know the Bills are in for a World of Hurt When Belichick Breaks Out the Danger Zone Hoodie

Jerry Thornton1/12/2022 9:50 PM

Dammit, Bill Belichick! Way to screw me out of a perfectly good narrative. Because no sooner did I write about the super romantic love sonnet that Tom Brady composed for him in his newest docuseries episode:

Then he has to unleash this sweatshirt. On the very day that Brady himself is launching another Brady merchandize line to compete with the TB12 merchandize line:

And it goes without saying that Belichick's has a billion times the cache' of white hoodies that have "BRADY" on them in black and black hats that have "BRADY" on them in white or whatever. From a creative design standpoint, they might as well be the t-shirt in a Steve Buscemi GIF:

Giphy Images.

He was asked about it and simply answered, "It's something that the players did a couple years ago." But chose this precise moment to let this bad boy off the leash. And in doing so, Belichick sucked all the air out of the product launch for his former GOAT. I'd add the word "unwittingly," but we all learned in early 2002 he doesn't do anything without wit. From the schemes he runs to what he pulls out of his closet, everything is done with a purpose.

In this case, he's not only undermined a long-planned fashion line rollout, he's sent the Bills a message about the destination that awaits them Saturday night. The internet agrees:

Author's note: Gamble responsibly. 1-800-GAMBLER.

So yes, it'll all too good. Fashion should make a statement, and this one most definitely makes several. That there's no points for second place. The plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room. That his team will be on the front of every newspaper in the English-speaking world. That Mac Jones will spend Saturday night with missile lock and permission to fire. And if his target is too close for missiles, he'll switch to guns and do some of that pilot shit. That when it's the bottom of the 9th, the score is tied, it'll be time for the big one. Time for the gutsiest move you ever saw. That he'll buzz the tower when the pattern is full. Because he's dangerous. And when this is over, the Bills will be flying cargo planes full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong. Because what he's looking for is the best of the best. And to send a message to his team: