PSA For All The Criminals Stealing In The Massive Crime Wave Across America...The IRS Says You Need To Pay Taxes On That Shit

Everyone has just been wringing their hands about the overwhelming crime spike in America the last couple of years. Nobody knows what to do. Jen Psaki said the crime would stop if people took their vaccines. Mayor Lightfoot has called on the stores themselves to just hire security to protect them. Nothing seems to work and people in major cities are apparently out of ideas as virtually every major municipality has been impacted by this. Well...wait no more! The IRS has a solution!

Advertisement

GOT YOU NOW BITCHES!!!

Oh you thought you got away with that carjacking at the Art Of Pizza? Fuck no you didn't. Agent Uncle Sam is just patiently waiting for you to properly file your schedule C with the proper blue book value of that SUV and then these criminals are FUCKED as soon as April 15th (as long as they don't file an extension because then it'll be October). It's the ultimate trap. Of course these criminals will file their taxes properly. They don't want to end up like Al Capone. When they say "hey IRS, I made over $209K on stolen designer bags and rolex watches" the IRS will be like "okay bitch, pay me 35% unless you have proper deductions filed". Then boom...federal case. Outside the jurisdiction of Kim Foxx. Finally justice will be done in the form of a form. A 1080 to be exact. Crisis averted! Justice done!