Not Even Diletta Leotta Can Make A Fake White Christmas Tree Look Good Or Respectable
It's that time of the year where people want to debate Christmas trees. Fake or real, multi-color lights vs white lights, I'm sure there's an ornament argument out there too. So why not steal some pageviews thanks to Diletta Leotta? I understand the game here. Here I am scrolling Instagram and see a picture of her in front of a fake white Christmas Tree.
P. U.
I understand the allure of fake Christmas Trees. You're wrong for having one, but I understand it. You don't want the hassle of watering it. I know those 10 seconds of your life are really important to have to scroll social media. You don't like the scent? Well, your nose sucks. You don't like sap? Okay, yeah, sap sucks. But luckily there's this new invention called soap and water. The moment the branches drop and you really get the scent of a new Christmas tree, it's an elite smell. Should have been in the Dog Walk smell draft honestly.
Now the key to any tree is truly ornaments. You can't have garbage ornaments. I'm a fan of random ones. Kentucky ones? Yep. Random golf shit? Yep. Basketball? Of course. Camden Yards and things with dogs? Yeah absolutely, I'm a sucker for that shit. It makes the tree. Lights, go either way. I don't care. Just make sure they are lit up and enough to cover the tree. Can't be having a half ass lit tree.
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The one thing you can't have though? A white tree. THAT IS GARBAGE. Trees are green! It's simple. You get a green tree. I think it's trash to have a fake tree. At least the majority are green. A white Christmas tree? Fuck outta here. Have a little bit of class. Have a little bit of dignity. Just put white lights on a green tree. That's normal. I mean shit even Diletta Leotta can't make it look good and THIS is Diletta Leotta:
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