A Polish Man Got Busted Trying To Smuggle $44 MILLION Worth Of Cocaine In A Shipment Of Frozen Onion Rings

[Post] - British authorities busted a truck driver with more than 900 pounds of cocaine hidden in a shipment of frozen onion rings this week, the United Kingdom’s National Crime Agency announced. 

Border Force officers stopped the shipment on Thursday in the UK inbound zone of Coquelles, France. The 921-pound load has a street value of more than $44 million. 

Piotr Perzenowski, a 30-year-old man from Poland, is facing a charge of smuggling class A drugs

You may have clicked this blog because of the emphasis of $44 million. I get it. It's a big number. But I'm here to focus on something different. This is a blog about onion rings. I'm torn on them. I really am. There may not be a food with a higher ceiling, lower floor than anything out there. It's always tempting to order. You see it on the app list with wings, nachos, fried pickles, etc. It always comes on the sampler platter. That's a whole different debate though.

Fuck it, let's debate sampler platters 

The ideal sampler platter to me consists as such: Wings (tenders allowed), mozz sticks, potato skins and fried pickles. You get a little bit of everything. You get the cheese. You get the chicken. You get for sure something at least one person at the table doesn't like and more for yourself. I'm not going to get greedy here though. Sliders are a nice touch, but not made for a sampler platter. I LOVE quesadillas but they don't belong on there. Same goes for calamari and egg rolls. I'll even throw pretzel bites on there. No one and I mean no one orders a pretzel faster than me if I see it on a menu. But you can't have the cheese/mustard dips there with everything else. It's called separating great from good. That leaves one more thing.

Onion rings. 

They are fine. I wouldn't smuggle $44 million worth of coke in those bad boys. You need better protection, clearly. Go with the pretzel bites at least. You're talking 921 pounds of cocaine. That's a lot of cocaine. I need to know more about the thought process here though. How do you pick the frozen onion ring shipment? That's question 1. Again, it's on the menu and you think about ordering them, but you never do. Onion rings ONLY get ordered when someone else orders them. It's fine that way. That's due to the high ceiling, low floor. If you get a bad batch of onion rings, you don't want that blame. It hangs over dinner. You get a good batch of onion rings? The beer goes down smoother. The TV lighting looks cleaner. It's perfect.

 Either way, this is a lot of cocaine.