Brewers Star Reliever Devin Williams Drunkenly Challenged a Wall to a Boxing Match And Will Now Miss The Entire Postseason For Milwaukee

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"If I could take it back, I would" Well yeah dude, ya fucking think. Story of the goddamn human race. 

Devin Williams is one of the filthiest relievers in all of baseball and he's now out for the entire postseason because he got hammered during their NL Central division championship celebration and broke his hand punching a wall. Unbelievable. I mean what are you doing dude? The Brewers have been a shoe-in for the playoffs for months now and just as they're about to get there they're hit with this gigantic gut punch. 

You know who I blame? The St. Louis Cardinals and their voodoo magic. Those maniacs have some crazy shit going around them and as they're ripping off 17 straight game to clinch a spot in the NL WC game out of nowhere here are their division rival Brew Crew suffering a gigantic blow to their team. Straight up witchcraft. 

Real talk, when normal humans like ourselves go out and have too much to drink we may wake up with a regrettable text at worst. Maybe a silly tweet or a DM to your boss in the middle of the night that you proceed to blame on a friend. We don't really have to worry about our physical bodies too much though. Jam your finger, fall down in the street, whatever embarrassing shit that happens we can move on realistically. Can't do that when you're a professional athlete. Can't be punching walls with your pitching hand when you get too drunk. When has anyone punched a wall and something good came out of it? I think by now we know the wall doesn't lose face-offs with hands. Undefeated. If you're really feeling challenged by a wall use your goddamn non-throwing hand for Christ's sake. 

Dude's season is over just as the postseason is about to get going. Awful. It's maybe the best chance the Brewers have had in some time to get to the World Series. I'm not going to say they can't get there now, but not having the complete 1-2 punch of Williams and Hader at the end of games hurts bad. 

"If I could take it back, I would" Print the shirts