Treadmill Toy Car Racing Is The Absolutely ELECTRIC Sport Of The Future

I feel like my entire childhood I heard that NASCAR was the sport of the future and based on all the incredible shit Logan has blogged about F1 recently, it seems like that became the sport of the future. However, I think treadmill toy racing just blew past both of them to take the checkered flag (nice racing pun, Clem!) because that was truly the most exhilarating thing I have seen since all the degenerates in the office were watching those marble races a couple of years ago.

You wanna talk #grit? That mailman outracing more horsepower than an entire Fast & Furious movie before pulling off the greatest come from behind win against the Lamborghini since the tortoise took down the hare eons ago was legitimately inspiring. Slow and steady wins the race mothafuckazzzzzzz.

Since I have a 3 year old son who is more obsessed with toy cars than anybody in the world has ever been obsessed with anything and I actually have a treadmill that has been collecting nothing but dust and winter jackets over the last year, I think I finally found my calling in life and it's becoming an announcer in the suddenly thriving sport of treadmill toy car racing. 

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Now we just need to figure out a way to get this beautiful sport in the Barstool Sportsbook to responsibly wager on ASAmotherfuckingP.