World Domination Incoming: Bruce Springsteen's Daughter Made Her First Ever Olympics For Team USA, Give Her The Gold Medal Now

Why even bother showing up if you're on any other equestrian team? You got the Boss's daughter riding an all-time horse name. (h/t ESPN)

Springsteen and her 12-year-old stallion, Don Juan van de Donkhoeve, will be part of a four-member squad that also includes McLain Ward, Kent Farrington and Laura Kraut.

That's a championship name horse and it doesn't matter if it's equestrian or horse racing or anything. Don Juan van de Donkhoeve, Don Donk for short, is winning a gold medal. Sorry, but that's just a rule now. How does Springsteen lose? There's no chance in my eyes. Am I blinded by my love for Bruce? Of course I am. But the Olympics are all about stories and Springsteen's daughter on the podium with the National Anthem blasting before ending and playing some of her dad's jams? I need it. I know Born in the USA is all about Vietnam Vets being disrespected when they get home, but that's gotta be playing at some point in Tokyo because most people just hear Born in the USA and lose their shit. Slap a little Born to Run on during her ride. I don't know if music is played during the event or not, but I imagine it like the floor routine in gymnastics. Give Jessica Springsteen Born to Run and let her and Don Juan Donk dominate the competition. Also fly in this horse and dog for backup duty if needed: 

Peanut and Harley are a deadly 1-2 combo in the crowd. See, this is one of the things that gives me a soft spot for the Olympics though. We get stories from athletes across the world in all these sports we never think of. I faintly remember Jessica Springsteen being a top equestrian in the world and trying to make the Olympics in 2012 and 16 but forgot it until this morning. And few things get my American blood going like the Olympics. It's the World Cup and the Olympics. I want to see Team USA kick the shit out of everyone in the world in every sport. We now add a Springsteen to the mix and I'll be catching as much of equestrian as they show. Shout out Jessica Springsteen. 

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Now hit the music Clarence (RIP)!