Advertisement

Madden's Avatar for Mac Jones is Revealed and What Fresh Hell is This?

Look, I can live with the future of my NFL franchise pulling a 61 rating on Madden. In no way, shape or form am I unbiased about Mac Jones, but I'm all about making a guy earn it. Have a student pass a few tests and quizzes and pass in some homework before you start handing out A's. 

But this avatar is absolute not acceptable. It's lewd. Lascivious. Salacious. Outrageous! "Madden hasn't done an official face scan for Mac Jones yet?" That's the excuse? He's been a public figure for years. He was the most high profile player on the best team in the land for a year. He was on national TV for all 13 Bama games last year plus the starts he had in 2019. 90% of Americans could go to a police sketch artist and describe him with enough accuracy to put a reasonable facsimile of him on a poster if he ever went missing. And yet the No. 1 sports videogame in the land (I know FIFA is a way bigger seller, even in the US. Stop interrupting me while I'm rolling), does a first draft rendering of him that looks like a kindergartener's drawing you wouldn't put on the back of your fridge. 

How did they come up with this goon? This Neckbeard the Pirate? Is this their default setting or something? Does every player start out looking like this before they do the face-capture thing? If so, do they think every NFL player is created in Andrew Luck's image? Did they base it on that computer generated forensic composite of Jesus? Is he an Amish farmer? Skinny DJ Khaled? Every third soldier from a Civil War photo? 

Get your shit together, EA Sports. This is our Franchise you're being so cavalier about.  An 8-year-old could've made a more accurate Mac Jones in two minutes on his Nintendo Wii. I'd rather have seen you use a Bitmoji of him saying "You da BEST!" with a thumbs up than make him look like the movie poster for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. There'll be plenty of time to treat the object of my Fanboy Lust like trash once he's the Patriots quarterback. Believe me, I'm used to it. But for now, show some respect.