It Needs to be Said That Spending 24 Hours in a Waffle House for Finishing Last in Your Fantasy League Doesn't Qualify as Punishment
Big Tennessee posted about this earlier. And I agree this journo produced a great thread. But there's a point he didn't make that needs to be said. Because it reflects on the soft state of American manhood and journalism in general.
But really now, is this such an awful sentence to have to serve? I mean, it sounds a little severe when you hear the phrase "spend 24 hours ..." But when the sentence ends with "... Waffle House," how bad could that possibly be? OK, I'll grant you that the people you're going to encounter in a Brandon, MS breakfast joint from, say, 2:00-5:00 a.m. will make you lose all faith that humankind can survive as a species. But for the other 21 hours? This seems like sort of a cushy way to pay off your debt to society. Especially when you consider he had all the comforts that can make a Waffle House a home:
And besides, what kind of a cheap way is this to reduce his sentence? Waffles are one of nature's most perfect foods. What kind of a challenge is this supposed to be if every one is worth an hour? I mean, on "Survivor" or "Fear Factor," they'd make you eat live bugs and sea creatures that smell like Satan's butthole and taste like death to win prizes. Enjoying hot, waffley goodness is something that comes naturally. Not to mention, as you might have deduced from the name of the establishment, the house specialty. And rewarding someone for eating a waffle is like rewarding them for breathing or masturbating. Half the fat guys in my Fantasy league would've gotten their sentence reduced to 0 hours before the first hour was up. But he just went on to gripe about it:
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Anyway, see the thread for yourself because I do appreciate the comedy of it. And it's an interesting just from a sociological perspective, I suppose:
But there's no way this could be the ordeal he's making it out to be. Not at one of America's most beloved dining institutions, the noble, humble, Waffle House. In the words of Ron Burgundy, why does anyone eat a meal that is not breakfast? "Because people are stupid."