Lori Lightfoot Is Starting To Turn Me On
(I think she blocked me so here's the screenshot)
You may want to sit down for this one but I think Lori is starting to win me over.
In a bizarre, twisted s&m, degradation fetish fashion this kind of tough talk kinda turns me on.
Not to the Feitelberg spit in my mouth, "my face is your toilet" extreme. But I like it when you get rough and talk shit to me baby.
A normal, rational person in her position (a limping, second year Mayor of Chicago) might take the high road and assure her constituents that her administration would do everything it takes to work together (cooperation, what a novel concept) with the McCaskey family to find a way to keep the Bears in Chicago. For life.
Politics, especially at the local level is all about compromise. About coming together and meeting somewhere in the middle.
So telling people that's the game plan, rather than accusing the relatives of Papa Bear of "posturing" (which ironically is exactly what this official statement is) and throwing in a cheap shot about being the Packers bitch probably wasn't the way to go. But what do I know?
And you know that when her speech writer was finished drafting this disaster of a statement up, they marched it proudly to her desk and read it aloud, beaming with pride. And when they got to that part about the Packers, they paused dramatically before delivering the line, and then audible cheers and high fives broke out throughout the conference room.
Followed by heavy eye-contact the likes of which hasn't been seen since Todd spilled coffee on Mugatu.
We've been on this story from day 0. Before anybody was talking about it. Because that just what real deal big J journalism is about here at Barstool Chicago.
We were also one of the first to mention the smoke coming from Hallas Hall concerning the McCaskey's potentially (and hopefully) selling the team.
We were manifesting this bitch into a complete turnaround. Until this.
Eddie blogged earlier about the likelihood of this move actually happening, then Lori had to throw this Rick Flair low blow and fuck the whole thing up.
I honestly wouldn't blame the McCaskey's for stooping to her level and counter-striking in this dick measuring contest.
She really wants to start calling out other people's track records? BOLD.
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Chucking boulders when she's living in the biggest house of glass the world's ever seen?
Let it fucking rip Virginia. Gain back some of Chicago's respect before you call it a life.
p.s. - can somebody in the Lightfoot administration explain to her that just because the Bears would play 20 mins away from Chicago doesn't mean they couldn't still be the Chicago Bears?
p.p.s.- mentioned this on twitter. people that know, know, but a lot of people have no idea just how much power the "Friends Of The Park" clan wields in this city. Best part is they all live out in the bougie burbs. They call all the shots from the sidelines. Fuckin insanity.
p.p.p.s. - with the bang-up job Lori has done in just two years, if she were to be responsible for losing the Bears to Arlington Heights she'd live on in infamy for eternity. Kind of have to respect it. People would still be talking about her around her in 200 years when we're waving the Chinese flag and speaking mandarin.