The City Of Topeka, Kansas Is Being Terrorized By People On Bird Scooters Drawing Penises With The Scooter's Skid Marks

I am not one that deals a lot with art. My finest piece of art is a picture of a chocolate lab that looks like mine but he's pictured as Tupac. I display it proudly in my office. It might be the only piece of art that I've actually purchased. But that's not to say I don't admire effort, determination and fine art. That's how I view these people. They see Bird Scooters are a paint brush and the city of Topeka, Kansas as their canvas. They are out here using skid marks to draw penises. Anyone can do it with paint or pen and paper, but a select few can do it with skid marks. It's also not lost on me the irony and hilarity of using skid marks to draw dicks. Just the word skid marks makes me chuckle because I'm a child. 

These people have the entire city shaken to its core. They have representatives from the company sitting in on government meetings trying to figure out how to stop this problem. They are coming up with 'problem riders' which I didn't think would be possible on a Bird scooter yet here we are in 2021. You simply can't walk the busy streets of Topeka, Kansas without seeing skid mark penises all around. It reminds me of the penis man in Arizona. 

Advertisement

The fact that a representative had to say people are drawing penises at a 'level the company hasn't seen in other cities' is fucking hilarious. I really hope there's a PowerPoint or Excel graph at Bird headquarters with the average amount of penises drawn and then a big uptick in Topeka. They will be working around the clock to try and eliminate skid mark penises and I can only assume these artists will find a loop hole.