Advertisement

You Know It's A Wild Day On The Internet When Churchill Suspends Bob Baffert For Two Years And It's Barely A Top Story

Holy shit. Now Baffert being suspended isn't necessarily shocking, but doing it for two years and Churchill really putting their nuts on the table here is shocking. Horse racing has slid by for years with slap on the wrists for things like this. Granted, we've never really seen something like this at the Derby, but it's not like Baffert is the first trainer to cheat here. Like I've said before, he's also the face of the sport. He's the guy that everyone knows. This is like NCAA football suspending Saban or college hoops suspending Josh Pastner. 

But this is about today as a whole. What the fuck happened? It started in the early hours when LeBron went full Bron Bron and just left the court to not take a shit. I said it before, but you only do this if you have to shit.

At the same time you had Dame going absolutely nuclear against the Nuggets in one of the best basketball games of the year at any level. 

Advertisement

In the non sports world we had a tortoise randomly appear after everyone thought it was extinct 100 years ago. 

Seems like a pretty big fuck up! Speaking of fuck ups, the Celtics made news this morning out of nowhere. Danny Ainge stepping down but not retiring - hello, Utah. And then followed that up with Brad Stevens no longer coaching and taking a front office job. Excuse me but what the fuck? Stevens is 44 years old. I highly doubt he's done coaching for good, but the man was viewed as the savior of the Celtics a few summers ago.

It seemed like that would be the major news today. How do you top the Celtics blowing shit up when I was told they were all in their primes and everything was going great? Oh, right. This. 

Advertisement

Hell, there was even a few minutes where the WWE dominated Twitter for making moves that didn't make sense. 

As if Massachusetts wasn't on high alert already with the Stevens/Ainge news, Jerry got them going with sharks appearing out of nowhere. 

That my friends is why I'll stay a pool guy. I know what's in that pool. I don't have to worry about algae or weird animals hitting me. No thank you. I've gone to the ocean every year of my life and each year I get older the less I like it. Give me a pool, a High Noon and some early 2000s music going. 

And now we have Bob Baffert suspended for two years at Churchill because of Medina Spirit's positive drug test. 

But see days like today is why I love the Internet. It's why I won't quit Twitter. We have shit breaking left and right. People getting jokes off every minute about topics from wrestling to sharks to turtles to horses. This is all happening before the NBA and NHL playoffs get going tonight. More shit is going to come out. I fully expect a brawl at MSG with Turtle on the court or something like that. I fully expect Clem to faint live on the stream. I expect every NHL game to go to double overtime. I wouldn't be shocked to see more news just tossed out today to get it under the radar like a meniscus tear. 

Advertisement

I'll be curious to see if Baffert drops his appeal or what the process will be from here. There's no doubt he's going to do everything and anything to be back in Churchill before 2024. But for now he's suspended. It's what had to be done to fix this sport. What a fucking Wednesday and it's just 5pm.