The Falcons Got Pretty Snarky with Their Schedule Reveal Video Given They're Ready to Dump Julio Jones and Their Fans are PISSED About It

In case you were wondering if it's gotten any easier to be the Atlanta Falcons, the answer would be no. At least not yet. They've got a new head coach and a new GM. But they are still living in the aftermath of the greatest, most sudden collapse of a burgeoning empire since the Tower of Barad-Dur collapsed. And the four years that have passed since have not been kind. 

Consider yesterday's schedule reveal. The Falcons' social media team innocently puts together a wallpaper that people can save and use as a handy guide for planning out their fall and winter. And immediately their small and still-suffering fanbase immediately noticed someone is missing. And that someone just happens to be arguably the best player on their roster:

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Sad. You just hate to see it. But as an organization, they are still trying to dig themselves out of the salary cap hole they excavated themselves into in their brief and failed championship run. As it stands they have the third worst cap situation in the league according to Over the Cap. And Julio Jones has the second biggest hit on the roster at $23 million, behind only Matt Ryan. It's the harsh reality of NFL math that you can rarely clean up your mess by getting rid of your lesser players. In order to jettison cargo, you have to throw out some of the things that are most precious to you. It's difficult. And humbling. 

At least it should be. You'd think a team that is coming off a 4-12 season, hasn't even been above .500 in three years and still carries around the stench of 28-3 in it's clothes and hair, and is actively trying to trade its star wideout is in no position to talk shit to anyone. But get a load of this schedule release video they posted. A "Bachelor" spoof, done in a sort of "TV Funhouse"-style animation, it's all good. Nice idea. Clever. Topical. Relevant. Until the Falcons start taking shots at Tom Brady, Sean Payton, and Bill Belichick. Essentially the Holy Trinity of people who've made their lives miserable for the last four years:

Wow. The balls on these guys. "Ha! Tom Brady got drunk and threw the Lombardi Trophy from a boat! You'd never catch our guys doing that!" Right. Exactly. Brady did it because he not only won the trophy, he's got six spares where that one came from. Having Jameis Winston try to hand Payton a crab hammer was cute and on point. But Payton and his minions have haunted Atlanta's waking steps more than any fanbase outside of New England. Speaking of which, parodying Bill Belichick as bitter, in denial and needing a box of tissue is like the French and Spanish tooling on Lord Nelson after Trafalgar. The difference being that Nelson was killed while winning one of the most decisive battles in naval history. Belichick is not through with making you suffer. Not by a damned sight. 

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But that's fine. In a way, I guess I admire the spirit. Hollow and empty though it may be. And I think the perfect solution to the whole issue has been right there in front of us the whole time. The Falcons can make up for their insolence by sending Julio Jones to New England. In exchange, Belichick can send them a couple of draft picks - a 2nd and a 4th perhaps - maybe a veteran like Stephon Gilmore or Sony Michel. And more importantly, a commitment to stop bringing up 28-3 every chance we get. That way Atlanta can finally get closure and move on with their shattered lives. 

Besides, 28-3 will forever be etched in gold. So we've had our fun. 

Julio Jones to New England. Make it happen.