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4-Year-Old Mastermind Buys $2,600 Worth of Spongebob Popsicles on Amazon and a Go Fund Me to Pay the Bill Has Already Doubled That

Source -  A 4-year-old cartoon fanatic from Brooklyn went a little overboard by buying nearly $3,000 worth of nonrefundable SpongeBob SquarePants Popsicles on Amazon.

However, a graduate school friend of the little boy’s mom told The Post she set up a GoFundMe on Monday to help cover the chilling cost.

According to the crowdfunding page, the “truly adorable” SpongeBob diehard named Noah “managed to purchase $2,618.85 worth” of the pop-pelgangers from Amazon and “had them sent to his Auntie’s house.”


“In case you are wondering, that’s 51 cases, containing 918 popsicles,” Katie Schloss, a first-year masters degree candidate at the NYU Silver School of Social Work, said of the tot’s frozen-treat fiasco. 

The predicament may seem adorable on its face. However, as Amazon will not refund the Popsicles, Noah’s mom, Jennifer Bryant, was feeling the (freezer) burn and thought she’d have to foot the bill herself.  …

As of Wednesday morning, kind-hearted donors have already contributed a whopping $5, 745, eclipsing the fundraising goal of $2,619.

"Truly adorable"? Absolutely. But "a little overboard"? A "fiasco"? Not on your life. 

My man Noah here is nothing less than a mastermind. The architect of a scheme so diabolical in its concept and so perfect in its execution all you can do is sit back in awe at the audacity of it. And hope the dollars keep rolling in and he makes millions off it. 

I raised two boys myself and I remember this age well. A period in every parent's life when most of the food in your house is shaped like a cartoon character. Mickey Mouse waffles. Buzz and Woody fruit snacks. Dinosaur chicken nuggets. Fairly Oddparents pork tenderloin, whatever. They wanted popsicles shaped like Spongebob the way their dad wanted whiskey and quiet time. But neither of them had the savvy or the cunning to pull off a scam like this. 

I mean, just look at how his master plan came together. He gets give or take a two-year supply of frozen, corn syrupy, goodness. He puts his irresistible toddler smile out there, playing the innocent victim. Charms a bunch of suckers into footing the bill. Then makes enough profit to keep himself in talking sea sponge-shaped treats all the way to middle school and beyond. There are desperate, narcissistic wannabes on the 'Gram who would cut their own arm off to have that kind of influence. And he's made it work before he's learned how multiplication works. 

Noah is one of those kids you just know is going to a huge success at something, it's only a matter of what. Where you realize he's going to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 firm, the capo of a crime family, an entertainment mogul, or the leader of one of those cults where everyone sends you money and you don't have to pay taxes on it. But one thing is for sure, his life will not be ordinary.