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Macaulay Culkin And Brenda Song Just Had A Baby, Planning A Family Vacation Is Next

Macaulay Culkin and Brenda Song are parents!

The couple welcomed their first child, son Dakota Song Culkin, on Monday, April 5, at 1:10 p.m. in Los Angeles, weighing 6 lbs., 14 oz., according to Esquire, which reported that Culkin, 40, and Song, 33, named their newborn after the actor's late sister Dakota.

Dakota died at age 29 after being accidentally struck by a car on December 9, 2008, in Los Angeles.

"We're overjoyed," Culkin and Song told Esquire in a brief statement about the arrival of their first child.

First, congratulations. People who have kids are insane, so I wish them the best of luck with that. I'm sure both Macaulay and Brenda are psyched to start a real family, and not just be known for the families they are a part of on TV. Although Brenda is a hotel heiress in her TV family so, maybe not so much for her. The namesake in honor of Macaulay's sister is also very touching. 

Second, Macaulay Culkin only dates hot bitches. Mila Kunis, and then Brenda Song? He's got to be an unbelievable boyfriend or something. Could he be that good at sex? Is he that funny? Is he that rich? Who knows. And now he's a dad? That's a whole new type of girl who's sliding into his DMs now. I'll be keeping an eye out. We'll get to the bottom of this. 

Third, and last, do we think Macaulay will plan a vacation and purposely leave his child at home, alone? Kind of like a rite of passage into the Culkin family? Dad made his career on being left at home. Is it good juju to keep it going? Now his son will find an equally hot bitch for himself in the future, and their children to come will do the same? In Japan, every year for the kids in the entire country they hold a "Coming Of Age" day to mark your entry to adulthood. Maybe the Culkin house has their own Coming of Age day, and it's the day that mom and dad get on a plane to Paris? 

Imagine if the baby was born around Christmas time? 

Giphy Images.

I'll be thinking about this for much longer than I need to.