Dustin Johnson Called Me A Pigeon And People On The Internet Are Being Mean About It

So a couple days ago we released our video with Dustin Johnson where he played against us left-handed down in Florida. To be honest I still can't believe that happened but somehow it did. We played against the #1 golfer in the world, he played left-handed and he ended up [REDACTED]. It was fucking phenomenal watching the guy be so effortlessly good at something so difficult. Dustin Johnson has so much talent packed into his body that he can play golf opposite-handed and still be INCREDIBLY good.  Long story short it's a fantastic video that you should watch if you haven't already.

One of the many things that happened during the video is DJ called me a pigeon

And now the internet is being mean about it 

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Uncalled for! Did his decision to give me (and only me) the nickname have anything to do with the fact that I've been commenting PAULINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA on his wife's instagram pictures for the better part of a decade? Unconfirmed but I'm actually gonna say no. I think it had more to do with the fact that I played like dog shit.

And listen, would I have preferred to play better in front of the current best golfer in the world so he didn't refer to me as a bird? Absolutely. I suck at golf as it is but I'm better than what I showed Dustin that day and I deserved to be called a pigeon. I can now do one of two things going forward: 1) accept my new avian existence and be a pigeon for the rest of my days or 2) resist the label I've been given, improve my game and eventually topple DJ, get my revenge and replace him as the greatest golfer in the universe. I'm choosing to do the latter and then, on the off chance that we ever play DJ again, I will no longer be the pigeon. That's my promise to you.