Advertisement

Hot Seat: Cody Parkey?

Listen, I'm not going to sit here and act like Cody Parkey did the Browns wrong last year. He was 19 of 22 on field goals and 43 of 47 on extra points, including making all 11 of his kicks in our playoff GAMES. If his name wasn't Cody Parkey, I'd say the Browns kicking situation is just fine. But the problem with this guy is the constant aura around him that he's going to choke in the biggest moment, like he has been known to do.

Example:

Giphy Images.

I guess what I'm saying is that the Browns seem content with not playing in any big time games in the next year, seeing as they re-signed the most notably bad big game kicker in NFL history. Either that or we plan on being up by so much that we don't need any big kicks. Because we just had a chance to part ways and we said nope, we want this guy back on our team for another postseason run. I'm not sure what the upside is here, saving a 7th round pick? Not having to face Cody Parkey in the playoffs……? But the downside is obvious, if he misses a big kick we all look like idiots and get a million "I told ya so's". 

Anyways, aside from the fact that any missed kick he has all year will be filled with gif replies and Chicago fans going crazy, it sounds like we have ourselves a kicker that coming off a pretty solid year. Well, that was until the NFL Draft activities got announced:

OH SHIT! You can call this an "NFL Draft activity" all you want, but everyone knows what this is: OPEN TRYOUTS! Very shrewd by the Browns front office. Instead of having to shake the confidence of our kicker by bringing in others to work out or even use a draft pick on one, now we get to line up thousands in a row and see if we can find a gem. I wouldn't put it past the Haslems to plant a couple ex-college kickers that we're looking at in the line during this. 

And on top of that, now the absurdly high number of Browns fans that sit on their couch each Sunday saying things like "I could kick better than that" have their opportunity to put their money where their mouth is. Find out that it's not as easy as they may think…….kinda like how the Bears fans found out too.

Advertisement

***Don't be surprised to see some "90 year old man" knocking kicks through the uprights during the draft festivities. Seems like a good advertisement opportunity for Justin Tucker to put on a beard and suspenders.