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Target Will *Probably* Replace Macy's On Chicago's Mag-Mile And There Will Be No Complaining Because Target Is Awesome

WGN CHICAGO —  Target is looking to take over part of the space that Macy’s is leaving at Water Tower Place on the Magnificent Mile.

Cook County Tresurer Maria Pappas says a Target store in that location would damage the reputation of that well-heeled shopping district. She calls the idea an “embarrassment” to the city.

As of now, its unclear how close Target is to signing a deal at Water Tower Place.

So not a real fun fact but a couple years ago I was working in forensic accounting when the mother of all data breach scandals dropped. Right under targets nose someone hacked hundreds of millions of credit card records and PII and all this shit that today would literally just make the CEO walk right out the window. To my knowledge then it was the biggest and baddest transgression of possession customer information in modern history and I don't think Target gets a fraction of the credit they'll ever deserve for their bounce back. 

Truth is at the time, just about anybody as big as Target was susceptible to a large scale data breach. Especially a known big retailer with an expanding online presence. Target may not have been the weakest target but they were most certainly at the top of the list. The motivation behind the attack is subject to some serious holes other than to note it was an extremely sophisticated and coordinated attack. This wasn't an intern leaving a laptop unlocked in a used Camry at the Holiday Inn. This was serious shit from big players in the hacking community.

I'm getting to the Mag-Mile story trust me

Point is there was some of the heaviest 21st century shit going on at Target not even a decade ago and you could argue now it's the best of the big boxes. Maybe there's argument for Walmart but objectively I think a Target brings a better vibe. Better lit, more appropriate clothing options for the whole family. Better employee relations and customer-return access. At least in my qualified opinion. No matter how bad things once were for Target, they should be equally commending for returning to even higher form. 

That's why I'm proud to welcome another destination location with open arms even if it's on Mag-Mile ripping down aesthetic values. So long as they don't use TIF* money and Target privately funds the expansion of a 3rd part security force on that stretch of street than you can have my vote. Those are pretty simple demands. 

At a higher level though nothing beats some great air conditioning on a hot fucking day. And there's really no worse hot day in Chicago than when you're getting dragged up and down Michigan Ave. looking at shit you can't afford with a person you don't really love enough to make the sacrifices to one day afford all that shit. It's can be a bogus construct and Macy's often added to the pain endured by young men. Winding levels with varying yet overwhelming fragrances waiting behind each corner. 3 levels of shoes across 5 separate levels. Shitty coffee you pay for that sucks. Get dragged into a Water Tower Mag Mile Macy's in late August and there's a good chance you don't make it out without an argument under these circumstances. 

This purse is different because it's smaller

Arguments aside it's nice mixing in that location now with my favorite big house retailer. Maybe not the perfect mix for what the rest of the neighborhood needs, but I feel like there's so many times you're in Target and you don't even know it until you're stocking your shelves with reasonably priced toilet paper and a crockpot for a beef recipe.

Again - maybe not the best news for the fanciest crowds but pound-for-pound you have to love a Target. I certainly know I do provided we have measures in place for unruly population control. Mag Mile has been heating up lately and it would legitimately be a nice bargain if Target chipped in directly in the efforts. But now I'm getting too serious so let's just pivot and talk about low low TV prices. 

The Bulls are surging and you'll probably want a 2nd one for the living room wall. 

See Red.