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The Most Shocking News Of The Week: Cubs Sign Joc Pederson

Well isn’t this some shit to start your Friday morning. For roughly the same amount of money it would’ve cost to keep Schwarber, we now get a brand new baby faced soft body left handed hitting outfielder. Feels like someone swapped out a corned beef for a pastrami sandwich. Both equally delicious in their own right but also two similar salty deli meats. That’s how I feel about Joc Pederson.

Higher level my emotions are so compromised idk what to make of the Cubs signing him means for the club. Like Zach Davies is still the #2 starting pitcher. I’m not on crazy pills when I say that’s a dumpster fire rotation. If you’re going to tank, do it. But if we’re trading out one familiar face for a different one that’s easier to hate while still going for 81 wins then there will be hell to pay.

Anyways I’ve always appreciated Pederson’s swag. He’s a born slugger, complete gamer kind of player. Not the most explosive guy on the field but extremely smooth and the kind of face you want to punch when he’s on the other team. Love or hate it, credit to Jed because you know he’s really trying. The world is burning but he’s trying to make some kind of roster. We’re cheering for you Jed.