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This Guy Who Robbed a Home But Accidentally Took a Selfie On The Stolen iPhone Is Not The Smartest

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B911 - Detectives from the Los Angeles Police Department’s Pacific Division are asking for the public’s help to identify a suspect responsible for a burglary in the Venice area. On July 11, 2015, around 7 a.m., the suspect entered a residence on Paloma Avenue near Speedway, through an unlocked side door. While inside the suspect grabbed the victim’s iPhone and accidentally activated a video application, which clearly captured his image as he is standing in the victim’s living room. The suspect took the iPhone and then fled through the same door. All of this occurred while three residents, two fifteen-year-old females and an adult female slept in nearby bedrooms. The suspect is described as a male Black, wearing a dark hat.

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Everyone had bad days. You wake up and just nothing goes your way. You pour cereal but are out of milk, you miss your train, you forget you have a meeting, shit like that. But in the burglar profession, you don’t really have room for error. It’s a smash and grab, dog eat dog world when you’re a guy who makes your living stealing shit from people’s homes. So to accidentally take a selfie while in the living room of the house you are burglarizing is a firable offense. If I was this guy’s boss, he’d be gone. Out the door. You absolutely cannot make that mistake. So no matter how much you fuck up your V-LookUp at work today, or Fat Peggy in accounting is on your ass about billable hours, just remember, you didn’t take a picture of yourself robbing someone’s house in their living room. Tell Fat Peggy to calm the fuck down, you’ll get to it whenever the fuck you want. That’s a Monday morning dose of inspiration for you.