Breaking News: Taylor Swift Is A Witch

HA-HA! Oh, what's that Kelly? You wrote a 2,000 word blog on witches as your FIRST BLOG? Why did you do that? This is Barstool SPORTS!

Because I'm fucking perceptive, that's why. I know where the trends are. I know what YOU need to know. And now, you need to know about witches. The biggest pop star in the world is, clearly, right here, admitting to being a witch. 

What does this mean for you, gentlemen and ladies reading this? It means it's time to get on the fucking bandwagon. Every basic bitch on earth that you're trying to stick your dick into (virtually) is going to become a WiTcHhHh now. Help me help you. I may be a gasp GIRL but that means I… know about girls! I moonlight as an ACTUAL female every once in a while. And a VERY VERY cookie cutter one, at that. I am quite literally a dime a dozen. Don't you think it'd be a good idea to heed my words on matters I know so much about? Taylor's the biggest in the game as far as basic bitches, and beyond go. Sometimes you've got to educate yourself before you can get what you want.

That being said, I am very much looking forward to this new era. All these witchy vibes and this indie style music makes me feel like Taylor's all aboard the Stevie Nicks train, full speed ahead. I'll meet you all in the cemetery during the next full moon.

And okay sure here are some hot witches from the hashtag #hotwitch on Instagram.

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Not sure about that random girl in a bikini but, WE LOVE ALL WITCHES HERE!